It's a bit funny to me how the past 18 years have changed from Christmas to Christmas when children are added, and additional children are added. When you first begin having children, everyone is clambering to spend time with your new bundle of joy during the holiday season. When you have your second one, people still want to see your new little one, but some of the excitement has worn off. When your third one comes along, it's almost as if your children are simply an extension of you and everyone just wants to see "the family". By the time child #6 comes along, everyone has lost interest and moved on to the next sibling in the family having children.
There's little Christmas excitement with baby #6 outside of the family because everyone has already experienced that baby's first Christmas excitement with you, but now it seems like little more than an old habit. "Yep, we've done that and gotten that before." For the parents of baby #6, things change in the complete opposite direction.
When you're a parent of more than two children, there are new difficulties you get to experience with each new child. When you have two young ones, as in before Kindergarten, it's easy to pull the wool over their eyes and you can literally buy every single Christmas gift right in front of their eyes and they'll forget about it merely days later (sometimes later that day). Or, you can do like Kristen and I and hide everything beneath your jackets. "What giant pile of stuff beneath our jackets?"
When Harper came along, Riannah was too smart to have the wool pulled over her eyes. Now we had to start getting smart and shop during optimal time frames when Riannah wasn't around. Not that difficult, and it's even easy enough to just split the party while at the mall.
When Willow came along, Riannah and Nolan were too smart to have the wool pulled over their eyes, and we had to start shopping in shifts. However, there was one more wrench thrown in there: the kids like to pick out gifts for each other. Now we had to juggle times for allowing the kids to go with one of us to pick out gifts for their siblings.
Now that Isla has entered our family, we've created this chaotic web of present shopping that can make anyone go crazy. I took the four girls out for lunch and shopping today while Kristen took Nolan out for lunch and shopping. We were able to get gifts for Kristen and Nolan, but not Harper, Willow, and Riannah. At the same time, Kristen and Nolan picked out gifts for us, but nothing for me from the girls.
You can see the chaotic web forming.
The addition of more children creates more opportunities we have to create so that each one can pick out presents for their siblings and us parents. I'm sure someone can do the math to figure out how many trips to the mall or Target that requires, but I'm not going to bother. All I know is that it amounts to a lot of trips, and we've only knocked out a couple. There isn't really time during the week, so that only leaves the weekends. And if you look at the calendar, there aren't that many weekends left before Christmas comes around.
At least the kids enjoy picking out gifts for their siblings as it makes those many shopping trips that much more enjoyable. And it gives us an excuse to go to the store without the entire crew in tow.
Sunday, November 30, 2014
Sunday, November 23, 2014
As Stubborn as a 4-Year Old
You've heard the old saying, "as stubborn as a mule." Well, I'd like to add a new one; "as stubborn as a 4-year old." With our fourth child being 3-years old, I'm realizing that all children seem to go through this extreme stubbornness that develops when they're 3, blossoms when they're 4, and begins to fade when they're 5. Not that it truly goes away, but it seems to peak at the age of 4. Lucky us; we have two more children that will go through the 4-year old stubbornness.
Sometimes I find myself becoming quite frustrated with the bouts of extreme stubbornness. This makes those occasions difficult to overcome without letting your child's behavior get the best of you, but sometimes it gets to a point where you literally don't know what to do without giving in. This could be something as simple as "pick up your toys please" resulting with the "no, you do it" response. This can go on for hours as this behavior doesn't relent regarding that particular situation. You could finally give in and just pick up after your child, or make sure they understand how you don't appreciate the behavior.
I'm going to say this quite plainly; the former decision, if it's the regular decision, will only lead to a life of misery as the child gets older. They will become more defiant because they know that their defiance leads to you giving in.
The latter decision, while harder to deal with, can lead to that fading of the stubbornness when your child reaches the age of 5. Enforce some type of penalty (for us it's the loss of today's reward chart sticker and the loss of dessert) so that your child knows that behavior is not acceptable and you won't relent.
It's been stated in many sources that when children reach 3 / 4, they begin testing their parents. Stubbornness is one of those wonderful tests. This is what we're dealing with when it comes to Willow. She too is on the really awesome reward chart and she too can lose her sticker that day. This way, she knows there's no reward for her that day when she behaves that way. She also learns that Kristen and I are not push-overs and we don't tolerate this type of behavior in terms of "okay, I'll just do it for you then." Nope; not I. I love my children to death, but there's no way in hell I'm going to give in to their ridiculous behavior, no matter how much their pouting makes me giggle.
Five minutes of holding your grounds while your children are in that 3-5 range makes for weeks and weeks of not having to deal with it when they get older. That's how I see it.
Sometimes I find myself becoming quite frustrated with the bouts of extreme stubbornness. This makes those occasions difficult to overcome without letting your child's behavior get the best of you, but sometimes it gets to a point where you literally don't know what to do without giving in. This could be something as simple as "pick up your toys please" resulting with the "no, you do it" response. This can go on for hours as this behavior doesn't relent regarding that particular situation. You could finally give in and just pick up after your child, or make sure they understand how you don't appreciate the behavior.
I'm going to say this quite plainly; the former decision, if it's the regular decision, will only lead to a life of misery as the child gets older. They will become more defiant because they know that their defiance leads to you giving in.
The latter decision, while harder to deal with, can lead to that fading of the stubbornness when your child reaches the age of 5. Enforce some type of penalty (for us it's the loss of today's reward chart sticker and the loss of dessert) so that your child knows that behavior is not acceptable and you won't relent.
It's been stated in many sources that when children reach 3 / 4, they begin testing their parents. Stubbornness is one of those wonderful tests. This is what we're dealing with when it comes to Willow. She too is on the really awesome reward chart and she too can lose her sticker that day. This way, she knows there's no reward for her that day when she behaves that way. She also learns that Kristen and I are not push-overs and we don't tolerate this type of behavior in terms of "okay, I'll just do it for you then." Nope; not I. I love my children to death, but there's no way in hell I'm going to give in to their ridiculous behavior, no matter how much their pouting makes me giggle.
Five minutes of holding your grounds while your children are in that 3-5 range makes for weeks and weeks of not having to deal with it when they get older. That's how I see it.
Sunday, November 9, 2014
The Many Moods of Children
Don't you just love the sudden mood swings of children? One minute they can be elated and everything's okay. The next minute they're sulking and refuse to do whatever it is that you're asking them to do.
One of the most difficult things about parenting is dealing with split-second mood changes; and I do mean split-second. Our children can be running around laughing and giggling, and then all of a sudden one of them is screaming at the other one to stop. Uh... what? Weren't the two of you just playing merrily?
This morning we had a bit of an incident when it comes to sudden mood changes. I was getting breakfast ready for Harper and Willow, and both girls were excited to be sitting down at the table and eating their waffles, cut into strips of course. Willow decided to grab all the place mats and set them all out on the table, even though they weren't needed. This didn't jive well with Harper. Harper went from excited for breakfast to angry at Willow for setting out place mats that weren't needed (or maybe she was mad because Willow was doing it and she wasn't... I honestly don't really know).
This escalated into me having to stop Harper from being a bit mean to Willow about the place mats, which consisted of taking them off the table and yelling at Willow. This then continued to escalate into me having to tell Harper to just stay out of the kitchen until her breakfast was ready. She decided that her mood was going to continue to sour and listening to me was no longer an option. Then I brought her upstairs and put her in her room for a time out for not listening and being rude to her sister. This time she listened, but that's when her mood change yet again.
When Harper gets into trouble, and she wasn't really in trouble, she was just being removed from the source of conflict, she shuts down. This is better than the screaming she did for about a month or two, but it's quite awkward at times. When she shuts down, she hides under her bed (she shares a bunk bed with her big sister Riannah). Yet another weird behavior to deal with.
After a couple minutes, I went back upstairs and opened her door, informing Harper that she could come downstairs whenever she was ready, knowing that she'd be hiding under her bed (this is her new way of dealing with situations, like this, when she gets sent to a timeout). However, instead of doing or usual "metaphorically pry her out from beneath her bed" bit, I let her know she could come downstairs when SHE was ready and left the room with the door open.
I went back downstairs and heard Harper stomp over to her door and close it. I then proceeded to make my breakfast and enjoy it with only Willow at the table. Half an hour later, Harper showed up in the kitchen with a smile and that excitement of eating breakfast had returned (along with redness on her face from crying, but that's okay). Once again, the mood had done a 180-degree turn and things were back to normal. She ate without incident, although she did get an "X" on her reward chart for the behavior (the kids get up to three Xs per day before losing their reward sticker that day that gets applied to their actual reward).
The rest of the day, Harper's behavior kept with her regular happy self and the day was great!
Of course, the same type of mood changes occurred later that day with the older two, but that's another story. All I know is, when I took the time to walk away and let Harper know she could go back to her day when SHE was ready, that seemed much more effective than me trying to metaphorically pry her out from under her bed (I say metaphorically because it's done with words, not actually prying her out from under her bed).
One of the most difficult things about parenting is dealing with split-second mood changes; and I do mean split-second. Our children can be running around laughing and giggling, and then all of a sudden one of them is screaming at the other one to stop. Uh... what? Weren't the two of you just playing merrily?
This morning we had a bit of an incident when it comes to sudden mood changes. I was getting breakfast ready for Harper and Willow, and both girls were excited to be sitting down at the table and eating their waffles, cut into strips of course. Willow decided to grab all the place mats and set them all out on the table, even though they weren't needed. This didn't jive well with Harper. Harper went from excited for breakfast to angry at Willow for setting out place mats that weren't needed (or maybe she was mad because Willow was doing it and she wasn't... I honestly don't really know).
This escalated into me having to stop Harper from being a bit mean to Willow about the place mats, which consisted of taking them off the table and yelling at Willow. This then continued to escalate into me having to tell Harper to just stay out of the kitchen until her breakfast was ready. She decided that her mood was going to continue to sour and listening to me was no longer an option. Then I brought her upstairs and put her in her room for a time out for not listening and being rude to her sister. This time she listened, but that's when her mood change yet again.
When Harper gets into trouble, and she wasn't really in trouble, she was just being removed from the source of conflict, she shuts down. This is better than the screaming she did for about a month or two, but it's quite awkward at times. When she shuts down, she hides under her bed (she shares a bunk bed with her big sister Riannah). Yet another weird behavior to deal with.
After a couple minutes, I went back upstairs and opened her door, informing Harper that she could come downstairs whenever she was ready, knowing that she'd be hiding under her bed (this is her new way of dealing with situations, like this, when she gets sent to a timeout). However, instead of doing or usual "metaphorically pry her out from beneath her bed" bit, I let her know she could come downstairs when SHE was ready and left the room with the door open.
I went back downstairs and heard Harper stomp over to her door and close it. I then proceeded to make my breakfast and enjoy it with only Willow at the table. Half an hour later, Harper showed up in the kitchen with a smile and that excitement of eating breakfast had returned (along with redness on her face from crying, but that's okay). Once again, the mood had done a 180-degree turn and things were back to normal. She ate without incident, although she did get an "X" on her reward chart for the behavior (the kids get up to three Xs per day before losing their reward sticker that day that gets applied to their actual reward).
The rest of the day, Harper's behavior kept with her regular happy self and the day was great!
Of course, the same type of mood changes occurred later that day with the older two, but that's another story. All I know is, when I took the time to walk away and let Harper know she could go back to her day when SHE was ready, that seemed much more effective than me trying to metaphorically pry her out from under her bed (I say metaphorically because it's done with words, not actually prying her out from under her bed).
Sunday, November 2, 2014
Charts Can Be Rewarding!
Like many parents, we often struggle with dealing with childhood behavior and rewarding excellent behavior. For the past 7 years we've tried many different angles, but none of them have worked nearly as well as a simple reward chart. Of course, we've tried several reward charts with Harper, but we decided to go back to the simple one we did 7 years ago.
This reward chart is quite simple; the chart is tracked like a calendar, covering the entire month of November. Each day, the kids (all four of them as it's only fair to include them all) gain the opportunity to be rewarded for their excellent behavior that day. If they break one of the rules listed on the chart (we only have 7 rules in this house), we put an "X" for their name on that day. Each of them are given three opportunities to earn that reward (three strikes and you're out!). If they make it the entire day without getting three "Xs" on the reward chart, they get a sticker. Each sticker is equivalent to $0.50 which they can cash in at some point to get their reward (whatever they choose).
Although I can't really say this method has significantly changed Harper's behavior (because she gets into the 5-year old funk sometimes), it seems to have a great impact on Riannah and Nolan! We've tried a few ways here and there in terms of addressing their behavior, but they were more reactive than proactive (I consider this reward chart to be quite proactive as it establishes a daily goal of good behavior to gain the reward rather than penalizing them for poor behavior). For them, this could be considered as a way of tracking their ability to earn an allowance and ensure they avoid troublesome behavior when it comes to interacting with their younger siblings (or avoiding negative interaction). It definitely fits the bill of reward chart instead of trying to enforce rules and penalizing those that are broken.
When it comes down to it, I can definitely say that we will be doing this again next month, and probably from now on. This seems to work so well and I'm extremely happy with the results. Harper will take a bit more of dealing with on the side, but that's because she's a 5-year old, and not because she needs special treatment. For those who don't have Kindergarten-age children yet, you'll find out what I mean once 4-4 1/2 rolls around. ;)
Yep; reward charts are rewarding from a parenting aspect as much as they are from the children's aspect. I love it, and it really gives me a visual way of seeing our children's good days, bad days, and progressively improved behavior. While it may seem like such a trivial thing to worry about, it seems to make everyone happy and brings down the stress level throughout the house. Which is always a plus as poor behavior can cause undue stress on everyone; even siblings.
This reward chart is quite simple; the chart is tracked like a calendar, covering the entire month of November. Each day, the kids (all four of them as it's only fair to include them all) gain the opportunity to be rewarded for their excellent behavior that day. If they break one of the rules listed on the chart (we only have 7 rules in this house), we put an "X" for their name on that day. Each of them are given three opportunities to earn that reward (three strikes and you're out!). If they make it the entire day without getting three "Xs" on the reward chart, they get a sticker. Each sticker is equivalent to $0.50 which they can cash in at some point to get their reward (whatever they choose).
Although I can't really say this method has significantly changed Harper's behavior (because she gets into the 5-year old funk sometimes), it seems to have a great impact on Riannah and Nolan! We've tried a few ways here and there in terms of addressing their behavior, but they were more reactive than proactive (I consider this reward chart to be quite proactive as it establishes a daily goal of good behavior to gain the reward rather than penalizing them for poor behavior). For them, this could be considered as a way of tracking their ability to earn an allowance and ensure they avoid troublesome behavior when it comes to interacting with their younger siblings (or avoiding negative interaction). It definitely fits the bill of reward chart instead of trying to enforce rules and penalizing those that are broken.
When it comes down to it, I can definitely say that we will be doing this again next month, and probably from now on. This seems to work so well and I'm extremely happy with the results. Harper will take a bit more of dealing with on the side, but that's because she's a 5-year old, and not because she needs special treatment. For those who don't have Kindergarten-age children yet, you'll find out what I mean once 4-4 1/2 rolls around. ;)
Yep; reward charts are rewarding from a parenting aspect as much as they are from the children's aspect. I love it, and it really gives me a visual way of seeing our children's good days, bad days, and progressively improved behavior. While it may seem like such a trivial thing to worry about, it seems to make everyone happy and brings down the stress level throughout the house. Which is always a plus as poor behavior can cause undue stress on everyone; even siblings.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
The Excitement of Being a School Kid
On Friday I decided to take a bit of an extended lunch and headed over to the elementary school to have lunch with Harper. Kristen and I had done this before with Riannah and Nolan, so I figured I'd enjoy some lunch time with my big Kindergartener for shoots and googles.
Wow... I can't believe how exciting it is for these children to be in school.
One thing to keep in mind is that starting this year, Minnesota instated full-day Kindergarten as opposed to the previous many, many years of half days. Kristen and I were a little curious about this at first, but we knew Harper would be the best child of ours to test it out. She loves learning and loves doing school-related activities (such as the learning books she had while only 4 years old). The schedule for these full-day Kindergarteners is significantly different than a full-day schedule for 1st grade and beyond. Each snippit of class time is shorter, moving things along nicely throughout the day to keep these little ones from getting bored. They have two occasions of "specials" which consist of P.E., library, art, music, and probably something else. I think they always have PE each day, but I can't remember. This means they always have something fun to look forward to twice a day instead of just once a day like the other grades. They're minds are kept involved and they even have a resting period where they get to relax and have as close to a nap time as they're going to get.
All in all, it's amazing how much Harper loves it. More so, it's amazing how all of these Kindergarteners seem to love it; and this electricity is something I could definitely feel during lunch. I can honestly say that I've never seen a group of grade-school kids (especially Kindergarteners) who not only seemed like they loved being at school, but they all seemed to adore their teacher (which I also attribute to the teacher as he seems like he really enjoys what he's doing). As soon as I sat down, the smiles on these children's faces and the enthusiasm in their voices said it all.
I was first barraged with a story about how there were firemen in the classroom that day. Of course, not only were there firemen, but there were three of them. And then I was told how they wore their firefighter suits and how they were really heavy. And then one of Harper's friends told me about how her dad is a police officer. And then another one of Harper's friends told me how his dad is a policeman, fireman, garbage man, and a stretcher man! (Wow, this guys puts me to shame!) And then I got the round table of "What's my name / What's her name?" This was coupled with the random "Are you Harper's dad?" exclamation.
I was bombarded with so many questions and so many excited statements that I really only got to speak in short bursts before having to move on to the next child's attention. All of this was while keeping some conversation with Harper as she's a really good conversationalist for a 5-year old (and a couple of her friends were too).
It was by far the cutest thing I have ever experienced and I couldn't believe how much excitement radiated from these Kindergarteners. I don't ever remember a Kindergartener (including myself) being so enamored by the excitement of being at school - and these kids are there for the whole day! Maybe that's the trick. Maybe it's the excellent schedule the school district put together that helps keep these children interested and engaged so that they love going to school. Maybe it's the awesome teacher they have. Or maybe it's just the excitement of sitting at the table with one of your friend's parents.
Whatever it is, I sure wish I had that type of energy everyday when I ate lunch at work. These kids sure love being at school and they sure love being a school kid. That makes me very happy and in that one little 20-minute lunch period, I was able to see, for myself, how wonderful our schools are doing at making our little Kindergarteners love school.
Wow... I can't believe how exciting it is for these children to be in school.
One thing to keep in mind is that starting this year, Minnesota instated full-day Kindergarten as opposed to the previous many, many years of half days. Kristen and I were a little curious about this at first, but we knew Harper would be the best child of ours to test it out. She loves learning and loves doing school-related activities (such as the learning books she had while only 4 years old). The schedule for these full-day Kindergarteners is significantly different than a full-day schedule for 1st grade and beyond. Each snippit of class time is shorter, moving things along nicely throughout the day to keep these little ones from getting bored. They have two occasions of "specials" which consist of P.E., library, art, music, and probably something else. I think they always have PE each day, but I can't remember. This means they always have something fun to look forward to twice a day instead of just once a day like the other grades. They're minds are kept involved and they even have a resting period where they get to relax and have as close to a nap time as they're going to get.
All in all, it's amazing how much Harper loves it. More so, it's amazing how all of these Kindergarteners seem to love it; and this electricity is something I could definitely feel during lunch. I can honestly say that I've never seen a group of grade-school kids (especially Kindergarteners) who not only seemed like they loved being at school, but they all seemed to adore their teacher (which I also attribute to the teacher as he seems like he really enjoys what he's doing). As soon as I sat down, the smiles on these children's faces and the enthusiasm in their voices said it all.
I was first barraged with a story about how there were firemen in the classroom that day. Of course, not only were there firemen, but there were three of them. And then I was told how they wore their firefighter suits and how they were really heavy. And then one of Harper's friends told me about how her dad is a police officer. And then another one of Harper's friends told me how his dad is a policeman, fireman, garbage man, and a stretcher man! (Wow, this guys puts me to shame!) And then I got the round table of "What's my name / What's her name?" This was coupled with the random "Are you Harper's dad?" exclamation.
I was bombarded with so many questions and so many excited statements that I really only got to speak in short bursts before having to move on to the next child's attention. All of this was while keeping some conversation with Harper as she's a really good conversationalist for a 5-year old (and a couple of her friends were too).
It was by far the cutest thing I have ever experienced and I couldn't believe how much excitement radiated from these Kindergarteners. I don't ever remember a Kindergartener (including myself) being so enamored by the excitement of being at school - and these kids are there for the whole day! Maybe that's the trick. Maybe it's the excellent schedule the school district put together that helps keep these children interested and engaged so that they love going to school. Maybe it's the awesome teacher they have. Or maybe it's just the excitement of sitting at the table with one of your friend's parents.
Whatever it is, I sure wish I had that type of energy everyday when I ate lunch at work. These kids sure love being at school and they sure love being a school kid. That makes me very happy and in that one little 20-minute lunch period, I was able to see, for myself, how wonderful our schools are doing at making our little Kindergarteners love school.
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Those Wonderful School Breaks!
If anyone that has no children ever tells you that parenting is (or should be) easy, punch them in the nose and tell them "That's what parenting feels like sometimes." There are always going to be good and bad days, but the worst is when you work so hard to overcome certain behaviors, only to have them regress later on.
Our children have what I like to call "Summer Behavior." This is the behavior they display during the summer months when school is out. Boredom can strike at anytime and I'll be damned if the entire house doesn't have to walk on eggshells as soon as one of the kids gets bored. However, when school begins, some of those silly behaviors go away and the kids seem to be ecstatic that they're back in school and the source of their ire is gone! Woohoo!
Yeah; that's until they have three days off school thanks to the Minnesota Education Something or Another (called MEA up here). Just when we thought the kids had grown out of their summer behavior and are putting those days behind them, they all regress and go back to what they would do during the summer.
It's kind of like watching a bunch of bipolar narcissists playing tag...
All of them are best friends; running around and playing like it's nothing. Then when they're done, they calm down a bit and one of them decides that he or she is bored and is going to go from awesome sibling to pestering brat. He or she does something to anger one of the others, but of course it wasn't his or her fault, it was clearly somebody else's. Or, nothing apparently happened at all because all we get are blank stares and no answers. If everyone isn't playing together happily and following the same basic "rules of play," then one or all starts to want things his or her way and things start to spiral a bit. I would never call it out of control, but it often ends up with yelling, pestering, someone getting in trouble, timeouts, or the "go outside!" exclamation.
When the day is done, Kristen and I like to reflect back on the day, and we're left scratching our heads. "What the hell happened with (insert name here)?" We, of course, were under the assumption that those behaviors were weeks behind us. But I guess not...
Now we have something to look forward to next summer!
Kristen and I don't beat ourselves up about though; instead, we look for better ways to deal with it. We are definitely a "continuous improvement" set of parents who can never seem to break old habits... *sigh* at least we try.
Kristen and I are stark proponents of redirecting anger and annoyance so that it quickly goes away. This is often quite easy with Harper and Willow; but then they're only 5 and (now) 3. It's easy to take a young child's attention away from a conflict and redirect it to something fun. I have an easier time with Harper and Kristen has an easier time with Willow. This household balance works well for us, although there are many times where those roles are switched. The good news is Kristen and I regularly balance each other's attitudes out, allowing our house to remain as sane as possible.
However, when it comes to Riannah and Nolan, both well into their grade school years, redirection is horribly difficult. One thing we do is pull the offender away from the fun and send him or her to his or her room to be alone for awhile. This is (usually) followed-up with an explanation of what they did wrong and life gets back to normal. But this can still be a cumbersome process (thanks to arguing and backtalk), and it's not instantaneous like redirecting a Kindergartener is. Kristen has been trying some new techniques, but it's often difficult to break old habits. I too have been working up the effort to try new things, but breaking that annoyance can be difficult. If we calmly state why we're unhappy and what our children need to do better with, the hope is that these occasions will become a thing of the past.
And of course, they will become a thing of the past because break is over and they go back to school tomorrow! That is, until the next break comes... Ugh!
Our children have what I like to call "Summer Behavior." This is the behavior they display during the summer months when school is out. Boredom can strike at anytime and I'll be damned if the entire house doesn't have to walk on eggshells as soon as one of the kids gets bored. However, when school begins, some of those silly behaviors go away and the kids seem to be ecstatic that they're back in school and the source of their ire is gone! Woohoo!
Yeah; that's until they have three days off school thanks to the Minnesota Education Something or Another (called MEA up here). Just when we thought the kids had grown out of their summer behavior and are putting those days behind them, they all regress and go back to what they would do during the summer.
It's kind of like watching a bunch of bipolar narcissists playing tag...
All of them are best friends; running around and playing like it's nothing. Then when they're done, they calm down a bit and one of them decides that he or she is bored and is going to go from awesome sibling to pestering brat. He or she does something to anger one of the others, but of course it wasn't his or her fault, it was clearly somebody else's. Or, nothing apparently happened at all because all we get are blank stares and no answers. If everyone isn't playing together happily and following the same basic "rules of play," then one or all starts to want things his or her way and things start to spiral a bit. I would never call it out of control, but it often ends up with yelling, pestering, someone getting in trouble, timeouts, or the "go outside!" exclamation.
When the day is done, Kristen and I like to reflect back on the day, and we're left scratching our heads. "What the hell happened with (insert name here)?" We, of course, were under the assumption that those behaviors were weeks behind us. But I guess not...
Now we have something to look forward to next summer!
Kristen and I don't beat ourselves up about though; instead, we look for better ways to deal with it. We are definitely a "continuous improvement" set of parents who can never seem to break old habits... *sigh* at least we try.
Kristen and I are stark proponents of redirecting anger and annoyance so that it quickly goes away. This is often quite easy with Harper and Willow; but then they're only 5 and (now) 3. It's easy to take a young child's attention away from a conflict and redirect it to something fun. I have an easier time with Harper and Kristen has an easier time with Willow. This household balance works well for us, although there are many times where those roles are switched. The good news is Kristen and I regularly balance each other's attitudes out, allowing our house to remain as sane as possible.
However, when it comes to Riannah and Nolan, both well into their grade school years, redirection is horribly difficult. One thing we do is pull the offender away from the fun and send him or her to his or her room to be alone for awhile. This is (usually) followed-up with an explanation of what they did wrong and life gets back to normal. But this can still be a cumbersome process (thanks to arguing and backtalk), and it's not instantaneous like redirecting a Kindergartener is. Kristen has been trying some new techniques, but it's often difficult to break old habits. I too have been working up the effort to try new things, but breaking that annoyance can be difficult. If we calmly state why we're unhappy and what our children need to do better with, the hope is that these occasions will become a thing of the past.
And of course, they will become a thing of the past because break is over and they go back to school tomorrow! That is, until the next break comes... Ugh!
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Fun with Family
Today we went over to my sister's house to celebrate my young nephew's baptism. It was a nice get together and there were lots of people there. The kids did okay, and they had a good dessert. However, afterward, my sister-in-law brought my niece and other nephew over to the house while my brother was on his way back from drill. He brought a couple pizzas and we dined around our rather large table (after putting a leaf in). We had 7 kids here with the addition of my 1-yeard old niece and 4-year old nephew.
All I can say is that all of the kids had such a fun time!
Sometimes it's funny to think that the most fun your children can have doesn't involve going to an entertainment or recreational facility, doesn't involve spending money, and doesn't involve fretting over who gets the next turn. Quite the contrary; they all had so much fun playing at our house together. I don't know if it's because of the excitement of having someone else over to play with or something I just don't get.
Harper and Willow, five and two, were so cute running around playing with our one-year old niece. Then later, Harper and Willow were coloring with our four-year old nephew. For a while, Nolan was playing LEGOs with our nephew and then I think all of them were running around laughing and playing. It was the type of site that brings a smile to your face.
The cutest was when our niece was playing peekaboo with Isla.
Keep in mind, we see my brother and his family a handful of times a year. However, we rarely get-together in this fashion. We also haven't done it since our niece has reached an age where she can run around and play with the older ones.
It's amazing how much fun it can be to have cousins around the same age. Not only do we get to converse with my brother and sister-in-law, but the kids get to play with their cousins. It makes me wish there was one more cousin around Nolan and Riannah's age for them to play with, but they still had a really good time.
I only hope our kids have children around the same age so that they too can get-together and play with their cousins. And hopefully, we'll have the house where everyone can gather and the little ones can run and play. Of course, that's a long ways off, but it's always fun to think of.
There's something to be said about the power of having fun with your cousins!
All I can say is that all of the kids had such a fun time!
Sometimes it's funny to think that the most fun your children can have doesn't involve going to an entertainment or recreational facility, doesn't involve spending money, and doesn't involve fretting over who gets the next turn. Quite the contrary; they all had so much fun playing at our house together. I don't know if it's because of the excitement of having someone else over to play with or something I just don't get.
Harper and Willow, five and two, were so cute running around playing with our one-year old niece. Then later, Harper and Willow were coloring with our four-year old nephew. For a while, Nolan was playing LEGOs with our nephew and then I think all of them were running around laughing and playing. It was the type of site that brings a smile to your face.
The cutest was when our niece was playing peekaboo with Isla.
Keep in mind, we see my brother and his family a handful of times a year. However, we rarely get-together in this fashion. We also haven't done it since our niece has reached an age where she can run around and play with the older ones.
It's amazing how much fun it can be to have cousins around the same age. Not only do we get to converse with my brother and sister-in-law, but the kids get to play with their cousins. It makes me wish there was one more cousin around Nolan and Riannah's age for them to play with, but they still had a really good time.
I only hope our kids have children around the same age so that they too can get-together and play with their cousins. And hopefully, we'll have the house where everyone can gather and the little ones can run and play. Of course, that's a long ways off, but it's always fun to think of.
There's something to be said about the power of having fun with your cousins!
Sunday, September 28, 2014
The Power of Paranoia
Today we did what I hope will become a yearly tradition. We took a drive up to Taylors Falls (about 1 1/2 hours for us) to see the fall colors and enjoy the clean, crisp air. It was, by far, one of the most beautiful Sundays to make this trip as it was 83 and sunny with a light breeze. You can't ask for a more better day in September in Minnesota. The parking was a little ridiculous, but oh well, no big deal.
For those who don't know Taylors Falls, it sits along the banks of the St. Croix River, which marks the border between Minnesota and Wisconsin. These river banks, however, are not rolling plains or beach-like, they are lava-formed bluffs with amazing rock formations and glacial potholes. The bluffs along the river are part of the State Park and have a lot of bike and hiking paths. As Kristen was pushing the stroller, we stuck to the bike path. However, that didn't keep us from much of the rock climbing/hiking fun (it's not really climbing up as much as it is hiking across the rock formations).
Kristen and I have been to Taylors Falls numerous times in our youth, but this is the first time we've brought the kids here. It also happens to be the first time the kids (all of them) have ever climbed across this type of rock formation. Even Willow, our 2-year old, got into the fun. You can only imagine what archaic parental instincts kicked in.
Yeah, paranoia; the visions swimming across your eyes as you see your children climbing rocks for the very first time and falling down, plummeting to their death on the rocky banks of the St. Croix River. Or perhaps falling into the disgusting water of the glacial potholes. Or may jumping along, slipping, and cracking their head open, causing blood to flow everywhere and you're running to the nearest hospital.
Of course, none of this happened and the kids did great traversing the rocks for their first time ever. No one got hurt and Harper and Willow always asked for help when they knew they couldn't get down from the spot they were standing. I was always right there and made sure the kids didn't go quite as far as some of the older kids who were traversing the rocks. But that didn't stop my paranoia from picturing the absolute worst from happening.
The funny thing about all of this, is that I've traversed the rocks before. I've also traversed the rocks around Minnehaha in Minneapolis. I've also traversed the rocks around Lake Superior. None of those awful ever happened to me, so why the hell is my mind starting to freak out? I really had to keep myself in check to avoid making the kids panic. As luck would have it, when a parent starts freaking out, that's when their child starts to panic and someone gets hurt. So, I made sure they didn't go too far and always had Willow's hand nearby (she's only 2, I can't let her get too far on the rocks).
At least I know one thing, the next time we do something like this, the kids have done it before and have at least some practice. They know what to do and what not to do to avoid falling and they know how to avoid the nasty ledges. I'm hoping my mind won't picture the worst and we can be a little more adventurous with each trip. After a few years, I'm sure we'll be fully equipped and hiking along those trails like it's nothing!
Until then, I'll make sure my paranoia doesn't get the best of me.
For those who don't know Taylors Falls, it sits along the banks of the St. Croix River, which marks the border between Minnesota and Wisconsin. These river banks, however, are not rolling plains or beach-like, they are lava-formed bluffs with amazing rock formations and glacial potholes. The bluffs along the river are part of the State Park and have a lot of bike and hiking paths. As Kristen was pushing the stroller, we stuck to the bike path. However, that didn't keep us from much of the rock climbing/hiking fun (it's not really climbing up as much as it is hiking across the rock formations).
Kristen and I have been to Taylors Falls numerous times in our youth, but this is the first time we've brought the kids here. It also happens to be the first time the kids (all of them) have ever climbed across this type of rock formation. Even Willow, our 2-year old, got into the fun. You can only imagine what archaic parental instincts kicked in.
Yeah, paranoia; the visions swimming across your eyes as you see your children climbing rocks for the very first time and falling down, plummeting to their death on the rocky banks of the St. Croix River. Or perhaps falling into the disgusting water of the glacial potholes. Or may jumping along, slipping, and cracking their head open, causing blood to flow everywhere and you're running to the nearest hospital.
Of course, none of this happened and the kids did great traversing the rocks for their first time ever. No one got hurt and Harper and Willow always asked for help when they knew they couldn't get down from the spot they were standing. I was always right there and made sure the kids didn't go quite as far as some of the older kids who were traversing the rocks. But that didn't stop my paranoia from picturing the absolute worst from happening.
The funny thing about all of this, is that I've traversed the rocks before. I've also traversed the rocks around Minnehaha in Minneapolis. I've also traversed the rocks around Lake Superior. None of those awful ever happened to me, so why the hell is my mind starting to freak out? I really had to keep myself in check to avoid making the kids panic. As luck would have it, when a parent starts freaking out, that's when their child starts to panic and someone gets hurt. So, I made sure they didn't go too far and always had Willow's hand nearby (she's only 2, I can't let her get too far on the rocks).
At least I know one thing, the next time we do something like this, the kids have done it before and have at least some practice. They know what to do and what not to do to avoid falling and they know how to avoid the nasty ledges. I'm hoping my mind won't picture the worst and we can be a little more adventurous with each trip. After a few years, I'm sure we'll be fully equipped and hiking along those trails like it's nothing!
Until then, I'll make sure my paranoia doesn't get the best of me.
Sunday, September 21, 2014
They May Be Siblings, but They're All Unique
I think I'm going to stick with blogging on Sundays as my other days are filled with other things. So hopefully, every Sunday you'll find new words of wisdom about being a geek dad of six wonderful children!
I was thinking the other day how considerably different our children are. Even though they're siblings and you would think that what you learned from one can be applied to another, it's simply not 100% true. Sure you learn how to deal with temper tantrums or what to do when one of them completely breaks down while you're walking through Target or how to break the sleeping habits of a toddler, but you simply cannot approach each of them in the exact same fashion when it comes to how they handle their life on a day-to-day basis.
Here's how our children look: Riannah is the athletic girl who really stopped caring about toys years ago. Nolan is the silly boy who doesn't really know what he wants and changes on a yearly basis. Harper is our girly girl who loves clothes and shoes. Willow is our mothering girl who loves to do things with her dollies or other things that are mothering-like. I wonder what Isla's going to be like?
Before your kids turn 2, this doesn't really mean much. Most babies can be approached in a very similar fashion for those first two years, although there are still little things here and there to be aware of. Not every baby will have the same sleeping or eating schedule and not every baby will be happy being held the same way. But that's not what I'm talking about here.
What I'm referring to is how you approach your children as they grow up and you begin to recognize what their likes and dislikes are. The more those show, the more you can hone in on the best ones and attempt to exploit them. This is very important when it comes to birthday and Christmas gifts. Sure your kids will tell you they really want this toy or that toy, especially if they saw it on TV or a friend or cousin has it, but do they REALLY want it?
We've bought dozens and dozens of gifts for our children that entertain them for 2-3 months and then gets shoved aside to collect dust. Those just happen to be the gifts they really want... apparently. However, what you notice is that they're actually playing with something that was a gift you happened upon and thought they'd like it; not really knowing if they would or not. And then, 9 months later, they're still playing with it. For our children, it's usually the $50 gift they don't truly like, but the $25 one is super awesome! Of course, if you have multiple children like us that all have different tastes, you can't expect the toys to get handed down from child to child and keep them happy. It just doesn't work 100% that way.
That's just one why siblings are unique from each other - their tastes in gifts. The second is entertainment that doesn't involve gifts but rather involves interaction between child and parent. That's usually where things get difficult as you try to please them all at the same time with a single activity, but it doesn't work as well as you'd like.
So what do you do? What we do is find little things that entertain all of them for a short period of time. A good example of this is today after dinner we pulled the car and van out of the garage and let the kids ride around and play in the garage, doing whatever they'd like (jump rope, hula hoops, scooter, or bike). They all enjoyed it, but some of them probably could have done it much longer than the others. Another thing we do on a regular basis is go somewhere and try to make it fun for all in some sort of way. An example of this is the zoo. We'll go to the play area so the kids can get the ants out of their pants, do plenty of walking, get some cotton candy for fun, see the animals each one likes, and basically do whatever we can to make the overall trip enjoyable for all of them. It's basically a collection of little things in one trip...
The third is activities the kids enjoy without us needing to be involved. Nolan likes riding his bike, but Riannah doesn't seem to enjoy it as much; she'd rather ride her scooter. Harper likes riding her bike, but she's very hesitant if she's not riding on a mostly flat surface. Willow doesn't ride for long and would rather run or walk. This means that an after-dinner play session or walk through the neighborhood can be tricky if each one doesn't "move" at the same pace. But we try to let each one ride whatever they'd like to ride and then we accommodate their speed. When you're a parent, however, you are the one that has to figure out which style of riding each child prefers and hopefully exploit that. This could result in a cool gift idea or maybe lessons during the summer time.
It takes a fair amount of time to figure each child out. And when you think you've figured it out, they throw you for a loop and you realize you're not quite there. But it definitely takes a good eye to read your children's likes and dislikes without them telling you, because many of them won't tell you. Sometimes you have to ask, sometimes you have to just sign them up and see how they do, and sometimes you just lay out a bunch of options and see which one they like the best.
Even though they have the same parents, there's always something new to learn from subsequent children.
I was thinking the other day how considerably different our children are. Even though they're siblings and you would think that what you learned from one can be applied to another, it's simply not 100% true. Sure you learn how to deal with temper tantrums or what to do when one of them completely breaks down while you're walking through Target or how to break the sleeping habits of a toddler, but you simply cannot approach each of them in the exact same fashion when it comes to how they handle their life on a day-to-day basis.
Here's how our children look: Riannah is the athletic girl who really stopped caring about toys years ago. Nolan is the silly boy who doesn't really know what he wants and changes on a yearly basis. Harper is our girly girl who loves clothes and shoes. Willow is our mothering girl who loves to do things with her dollies or other things that are mothering-like. I wonder what Isla's going to be like?
Before your kids turn 2, this doesn't really mean much. Most babies can be approached in a very similar fashion for those first two years, although there are still little things here and there to be aware of. Not every baby will have the same sleeping or eating schedule and not every baby will be happy being held the same way. But that's not what I'm talking about here.
What I'm referring to is how you approach your children as they grow up and you begin to recognize what their likes and dislikes are. The more those show, the more you can hone in on the best ones and attempt to exploit them. This is very important when it comes to birthday and Christmas gifts. Sure your kids will tell you they really want this toy or that toy, especially if they saw it on TV or a friend or cousin has it, but do they REALLY want it?
We've bought dozens and dozens of gifts for our children that entertain them for 2-3 months and then gets shoved aside to collect dust. Those just happen to be the gifts they really want... apparently. However, what you notice is that they're actually playing with something that was a gift you happened upon and thought they'd like it; not really knowing if they would or not. And then, 9 months later, they're still playing with it. For our children, it's usually the $50 gift they don't truly like, but the $25 one is super awesome! Of course, if you have multiple children like us that all have different tastes, you can't expect the toys to get handed down from child to child and keep them happy. It just doesn't work 100% that way.
That's just one why siblings are unique from each other - their tastes in gifts. The second is entertainment that doesn't involve gifts but rather involves interaction between child and parent. That's usually where things get difficult as you try to please them all at the same time with a single activity, but it doesn't work as well as you'd like.
So what do you do? What we do is find little things that entertain all of them for a short period of time. A good example of this is today after dinner we pulled the car and van out of the garage and let the kids ride around and play in the garage, doing whatever they'd like (jump rope, hula hoops, scooter, or bike). They all enjoyed it, but some of them probably could have done it much longer than the others. Another thing we do on a regular basis is go somewhere and try to make it fun for all in some sort of way. An example of this is the zoo. We'll go to the play area so the kids can get the ants out of their pants, do plenty of walking, get some cotton candy for fun, see the animals each one likes, and basically do whatever we can to make the overall trip enjoyable for all of them. It's basically a collection of little things in one trip...
The third is activities the kids enjoy without us needing to be involved. Nolan likes riding his bike, but Riannah doesn't seem to enjoy it as much; she'd rather ride her scooter. Harper likes riding her bike, but she's very hesitant if she's not riding on a mostly flat surface. Willow doesn't ride for long and would rather run or walk. This means that an after-dinner play session or walk through the neighborhood can be tricky if each one doesn't "move" at the same pace. But we try to let each one ride whatever they'd like to ride and then we accommodate their speed. When you're a parent, however, you are the one that has to figure out which style of riding each child prefers and hopefully exploit that. This could result in a cool gift idea or maybe lessons during the summer time.
It takes a fair amount of time to figure each child out. And when you think you've figured it out, they throw you for a loop and you realize you're not quite there. But it definitely takes a good eye to read your children's likes and dislikes without them telling you, because many of them won't tell you. Sometimes you have to ask, sometimes you have to just sign them up and see how they do, and sometimes you just lay out a bunch of options and see which one they like the best.
Even though they have the same parents, there's always something new to learn from subsequent children.
Sunday, September 14, 2014
The Baby Translator
You may not know it, but I'm a renown translator of baby gibberish. I have a bit of a sixth sense, knowing what a baby is thinking and saying, without being able to formulate words. It's like a gift.
I have transcribed for you one of my many encounters of being a baby translator. This one comes from an unnamed male after waking up from a nap. Enjoy.
(Opens eyes, visibly groggy.) I see that large star and moon and still in the sky. I don't understand why they never seem to move, but they are there now. My stomach makes weird noises, I must be hungry. Maybe today I will go out and find a rabbit and forage for some berries. Yes, berries would be nice today. But, where is my bow? Why can't I find my bow? How will I hunt without my bow? Forget it, I will go find a new one.
Wait... what's wrong with my legs? Why do they move around so quickly, but I cannot find a way to stand on them? Oh my God; MY LEGS ARE BROKEN! How am I going to get out of this place and find if any rabbits have tripped my snares or hunt them down with my bow? I know, I will call upon that lady giant, she always has the answers. She is like a mystical oracle; always knowing what I want, and what to say.
(Eyes squeeze together. "Waaah! Waaah!) Lady giant! I request your assistance! I need your help; it appears my legs are broken and I am absolutely famished. Oh good, here she comes. I see a glimpse of the man giant she often walks with. I like him too; he's quite comforting at times. Oh yes! Lady giant, please free me of this bed and bring me to my snares! Oh, and please grab my bow while you're at it.
What? What? Why are you sitting down? What are you doing? Are you pressing me against your breast? Why must you grab my head and... mhmhmhmhmh... Oh... this white liquid is so soothing. It is so sweet. I can't believe how it relieves my stomach pains. I will speak to the man giant when I am done. I am sure he will find my bow and take me to my snares.
Oh, silly me, I have gotten some of this white liquid around my mouth. I would clean it off, but I can't seem to bring my hands to my mouth. It's as if... oh my God; are my arms broken too? OH THE HUMANITY! Lady giant!? Why are you placing me on your shoulder? I demand my bow... stop patting my back like that, it will not help me (Belches loudly).
Amazing. The lady giant has quenched my hunger, and now my stomach no longer pains me. Maybe I will hunt another time. Oh, she seems to be moving me around, pressing my head against her skin. WAIT! I hear something. The gentle rhythm of the drums. I remember that sound. I remember hearing that sound in my dreams. I remember how soft it was, and how it calmed me... it.. always helped... to keep... me... from... (Falls asleep).
(Opens eyes again.) Dammit! That confounded moon and star are still up; and still they have not moved! What kind of sorcery is this? And why can I see sunlight coming in all around me. I will call for the man giant, he will have the answers. Oh... what is going on? There is a crinkling sound all around my bottom. OH MY GOD! THAT THING AROUND MY BOTTOM JUST GOT REALLY WARM! What is happening to me? My stomach is rumbling again... oh my! What is that awful smell? And why does my bottom feel so disgusting? I must call the man giant in here immediately to fix this! (Cries loudly. "Waah! Waah!")
I can't seem to understand these words that stream from my mouth, but the man and lady giants seem quite attuned to my needs. Ah yes, man giant, please fix my bottom. Something appears to have grown beneath me while I stare at this unmoving moon and star.
(On the changing station) MY WORD! What is that awful smell? Why do you lift my bottom that w...! Oh, thank goodness. You have repaired my bottom; I was certain something dreadful was wrong. Yes, please place another one of those cloth things down there. They help to keep the draft out and keep my bottom nice and warm.
Please, help me with my clothing. My arms and legs appear to be broken and I cannot do it myself. What?! What color is that! Wh... m... BLUE! Present me with an appropriate color like red or brown! I cannot go hunting in blue! Ugh... man giant... we will have a serious discussion soon about these clothes you present me - OOH! I love that squeaky noise! Will you please make that noise again? I don't know what it is, but that noise just makes me laugh!
Thank you man giant for clothing and entertaining me. I ask that you bring me to our hunting grounds and I will show you how to be a real man.
I hope this made you smile! :)
I have transcribed for you one of my many encounters of being a baby translator. This one comes from an unnamed male after waking up from a nap. Enjoy.
(Opens eyes, visibly groggy.) I see that large star and moon and still in the sky. I don't understand why they never seem to move, but they are there now. My stomach makes weird noises, I must be hungry. Maybe today I will go out and find a rabbit and forage for some berries. Yes, berries would be nice today. But, where is my bow? Why can't I find my bow? How will I hunt without my bow? Forget it, I will go find a new one.
Wait... what's wrong with my legs? Why do they move around so quickly, but I cannot find a way to stand on them? Oh my God; MY LEGS ARE BROKEN! How am I going to get out of this place and find if any rabbits have tripped my snares or hunt them down with my bow? I know, I will call upon that lady giant, she always has the answers. She is like a mystical oracle; always knowing what I want, and what to say.
(Eyes squeeze together. "Waaah! Waaah!) Lady giant! I request your assistance! I need your help; it appears my legs are broken and I am absolutely famished. Oh good, here she comes. I see a glimpse of the man giant she often walks with. I like him too; he's quite comforting at times. Oh yes! Lady giant, please free me of this bed and bring me to my snares! Oh, and please grab my bow while you're at it.
What? What? Why are you sitting down? What are you doing? Are you pressing me against your breast? Why must you grab my head and... mhmhmhmhmh... Oh... this white liquid is so soothing. It is so sweet. I can't believe how it relieves my stomach pains. I will speak to the man giant when I am done. I am sure he will find my bow and take me to my snares.
Oh, silly me, I have gotten some of this white liquid around my mouth. I would clean it off, but I can't seem to bring my hands to my mouth. It's as if... oh my God; are my arms broken too? OH THE HUMANITY! Lady giant!? Why are you placing me on your shoulder? I demand my bow... stop patting my back like that, it will not help me (Belches loudly).
Amazing. The lady giant has quenched my hunger, and now my stomach no longer pains me. Maybe I will hunt another time. Oh, she seems to be moving me around, pressing my head against her skin. WAIT! I hear something. The gentle rhythm of the drums. I remember that sound. I remember hearing that sound in my dreams. I remember how soft it was, and how it calmed me... it.. always helped... to keep... me... from... (Falls asleep).
(Opens eyes again.) Dammit! That confounded moon and star are still up; and still they have not moved! What kind of sorcery is this? And why can I see sunlight coming in all around me. I will call for the man giant, he will have the answers. Oh... what is going on? There is a crinkling sound all around my bottom. OH MY GOD! THAT THING AROUND MY BOTTOM JUST GOT REALLY WARM! What is happening to me? My stomach is rumbling again... oh my! What is that awful smell? And why does my bottom feel so disgusting? I must call the man giant in here immediately to fix this! (Cries loudly. "Waah! Waah!")
I can't seem to understand these words that stream from my mouth, but the man and lady giants seem quite attuned to my needs. Ah yes, man giant, please fix my bottom. Something appears to have grown beneath me while I stare at this unmoving moon and star.
(On the changing station) MY WORD! What is that awful smell? Why do you lift my bottom that w...! Oh, thank goodness. You have repaired my bottom; I was certain something dreadful was wrong. Yes, please place another one of those cloth things down there. They help to keep the draft out and keep my bottom nice and warm.
Please, help me with my clothing. My arms and legs appear to be broken and I cannot do it myself. What?! What color is that! Wh... m... BLUE! Present me with an appropriate color like red or brown! I cannot go hunting in blue! Ugh... man giant... we will have a serious discussion soon about these clothes you present me - OOH! I love that squeaky noise! Will you please make that noise again? I don't know what it is, but that noise just makes me laugh!
Thank you man giant for clothing and entertaining me. I ask that you bring me to our hunting grounds and I will show you how to be a real man.
I hope this made you smile! :)
Tuesday, September 9, 2014
Every Parent Needs a Copy of Queen's Greatest Hits
I don't know what it is about Queen, but every one of our children love listening and singing to their songs. It all starts with playing We Will Rock You and showing them the stomp-stomp-clap. Then, they're hooked! Willow, only 2 now, loves listening to We Will Rock You and gets excited when Another One Bites the Dust comes on. Every time she asks for it, she asks me to play "this" song while she smacks her legs twice and claps once.
All four of our children will stop their bickering and crankiness to sing We Will Rock You, We Are the Champions, and Another One Bites the Dust. Today, coming back from Pizza Ranch, we let the CD keep on going and got to listen to many other Queen songs, which Riannah and Nolan seemed to enjoyed (they're able to grasp the words much faster than their younger siblings). And yet, while I drive along and listen, I just can't put my finger on why Queen is always a hit with our children.
There are some things I can point out about this Greatest Hits CD. First, it's filled with a lot of excellent rock songs from the 70s that sound a lot like rock music from the 80s, 90s, through today (I don't mean pop, I mean actual rock music). Queen's musical style compared to today's rock artists isn't really that different. They don't try to get all weird artistically on the guitar or stick in 80-minute drum solos. It's just good music and good lyrics.
Second, Freddie Mercury was a damn good singer! It's not just his voice that I enjoy listening to though, it's the spirit and enthusiasm in that voice that tells you he really loved singing and really loved the songs he sang. Yes there are plenty of good singers nowadays and have been for decades, but many rock bands have over-the-top singers or ones that sound like they'd sell out at the first opportunity (I'm looking at you Mark McGrath...).
Third, the lyrics are easy to hear. I don't mean that they're always easy to understand, but that you can hear the lyrics over the instruments. It's the perfect blend and balance of music that completely avoids overwhelming the senses with too much of this or too much of that (like dance music with ridiculously loud beats that drown out the lyrics).
Fourth, they're good songs to listen to when with the family. This is especially true when you have younger children, but how quickly do you get tired of baby and children's songs (don't make me shove those ipples and bininis up your a$$!), songs sung by children (it's just not the same, you can admit it), Disney songs (it's cute until you've heard it for the 1,000th time), or kids soundtracks. It's just rock 'n' roll, and it's music that adults and children alike can enjoy. In fact, it's even music that the kids can enjoy through their teens and into early adulthood.
Fifth, music is a wonderful way to allow your children to escape the pains of being a sibling. It's amazing how when We Will Rock You comes on, the kids stop arguing and pestering and start clapping and singing! It's even more fun when they learn the words (or at least think they've learned the words) and sing along. I only wish I could record it sometime and play it back to them when they're in High School. "See, you used to sing and dance in the van, and you didn't even know all the words."
All four of our children will stop their bickering and crankiness to sing We Will Rock You, We Are the Champions, and Another One Bites the Dust. Today, coming back from Pizza Ranch, we let the CD keep on going and got to listen to many other Queen songs, which Riannah and Nolan seemed to enjoyed (they're able to grasp the words much faster than their younger siblings). And yet, while I drive along and listen, I just can't put my finger on why Queen is always a hit with our children.
There are some things I can point out about this Greatest Hits CD. First, it's filled with a lot of excellent rock songs from the 70s that sound a lot like rock music from the 80s, 90s, through today (I don't mean pop, I mean actual rock music). Queen's musical style compared to today's rock artists isn't really that different. They don't try to get all weird artistically on the guitar or stick in 80-minute drum solos. It's just good music and good lyrics.
Second, Freddie Mercury was a damn good singer! It's not just his voice that I enjoy listening to though, it's the spirit and enthusiasm in that voice that tells you he really loved singing and really loved the songs he sang. Yes there are plenty of good singers nowadays and have been for decades, but many rock bands have over-the-top singers or ones that sound like they'd sell out at the first opportunity (I'm looking at you Mark McGrath...).
Third, the lyrics are easy to hear. I don't mean that they're always easy to understand, but that you can hear the lyrics over the instruments. It's the perfect blend and balance of music that completely avoids overwhelming the senses with too much of this or too much of that (like dance music with ridiculously loud beats that drown out the lyrics).
Fourth, they're good songs to listen to when with the family. This is especially true when you have younger children, but how quickly do you get tired of baby and children's songs (don't make me shove those ipples and bininis up your a$$!), songs sung by children (it's just not the same, you can admit it), Disney songs (it's cute until you've heard it for the 1,000th time), or kids soundtracks. It's just rock 'n' roll, and it's music that adults and children alike can enjoy. In fact, it's even music that the kids can enjoy through their teens and into early adulthood.
Fifth, music is a wonderful way to allow your children to escape the pains of being a sibling. It's amazing how when We Will Rock You comes on, the kids stop arguing and pestering and start clapping and singing! It's even more fun when they learn the words (or at least think they've learned the words) and sing along. I only wish I could record it sometime and play it back to them when they're in High School. "See, you used to sing and dance in the van, and you didn't even know all the words."
Sunday, September 7, 2014
Family Traditions
I love having family traditions. They build memories that our children will hopefully remember for decades and talk about with their spouses and children. They also give our children something to look forward to when those dates come around. Better yet, they get excited when we say that's where we're going today or this coming weekend. Keep in mind I'm not referring to simple holidays...
We have a few, fun traditions.
- Every Easter, we take a trip to Toys 'R' Us and raid their clearance Easter baskets to replenish our outdoor toy bins.
- Every Father's Day we go to Excelsior by Lake Minnetonka, visiting Licks for ice cream and then taking a walk to the beach (although the water is way too cold to swim in).
- Every second or third summer we take a trip to Florida, visiting Kristen's parents and spending a lot of relaxing time at the beach, playing in the Gulf.
- Every August we try to make it out to the Minnesota State Fair.
- Every September we go to Emma Krumbees to pick apples, take pictures, and let the kids play.
- Every October we go to Peter's Pumpkins to pick pumpkins, take pictures, go through the corn maze, and take the hay ride around the farm.
Today we decided to make our yearly trip to Emma Krumbees early. Unfortunately, we'll have to go back because they weren't picking Haralson apples yet; those aren't allowed until late September. For those who like apples, you'll know what I mean. We also decided to visit the festival they have there every September and October. This was the first time we've done that, and I'm glad we did. The kids really had a lot of fun, especially when they got to climb the giant pile of hay and ride on the little tractor-train thing for kids.
The funny thing about these traditions is that I can compare our children's approach to whatever fun is available this year compared to last year. For example, last year, Harper was very hesitant to play on structures that were taller than I am. This year, she stays away, then gets a little closer, then asks me to help her a bit, and then she's all about playing by herself. It's quite the process and I love how she builds up that bravery with a little help from Dad!
Willow's at that age where she'll pretty much do anything Riannah and Nolan does, thinking that just because she's smaller doesn't mean she can't do it. She just jumps right in, making sure Daddy is close-by to lend a hand if necessary. When Harper was that age, she was actually quite adventurous, but getting older made her cautious. She's starting to break down some of those self-imposed walls. In fact, when we came to Emma Krumbees when Harper was 2 (or was it 3?), she was the ONLY one to ride the ponies. Of course, Willow couldn't because she was still in Kristen's belly, but Riannah and Nolan refused, and they have yet to ever ride the ponies!
The funny thing about all of this is that it's memorable because it's part of our yearly family traditions. We go places all the time and I rarely remember the silly details like this because we don't make a big deal out of those trips and they don't really mean much (because they're not that special trip that we only make once a year). Even as an adult I find that these traditions are the memories that stick in my mind and offer a good reference from year to year as I watch our children get older. It also helps that we take pictures and can compare the pictures from year to year. For instance, last year there was 4 kids sitting on the wooden guy, this year there was 5!
I can't wait to do it again next year, especially with a 1-year old Isla!!
We have a few, fun traditions.
- Every Easter, we take a trip to Toys 'R' Us and raid their clearance Easter baskets to replenish our outdoor toy bins.
- Every Father's Day we go to Excelsior by Lake Minnetonka, visiting Licks for ice cream and then taking a walk to the beach (although the water is way too cold to swim in).
- Every second or third summer we take a trip to Florida, visiting Kristen's parents and spending a lot of relaxing time at the beach, playing in the Gulf.
- Every August we try to make it out to the Minnesota State Fair.
- Every September we go to Emma Krumbees to pick apples, take pictures, and let the kids play.
- Every October we go to Peter's Pumpkins to pick pumpkins, take pictures, go through the corn maze, and take the hay ride around the farm.
Today we decided to make our yearly trip to Emma Krumbees early. Unfortunately, we'll have to go back because they weren't picking Haralson apples yet; those aren't allowed until late September. For those who like apples, you'll know what I mean. We also decided to visit the festival they have there every September and October. This was the first time we've done that, and I'm glad we did. The kids really had a lot of fun, especially when they got to climb the giant pile of hay and ride on the little tractor-train thing for kids.
The funny thing about these traditions is that I can compare our children's approach to whatever fun is available this year compared to last year. For example, last year, Harper was very hesitant to play on structures that were taller than I am. This year, she stays away, then gets a little closer, then asks me to help her a bit, and then she's all about playing by herself. It's quite the process and I love how she builds up that bravery with a little help from Dad!
Willow's at that age where she'll pretty much do anything Riannah and Nolan does, thinking that just because she's smaller doesn't mean she can't do it. She just jumps right in, making sure Daddy is close-by to lend a hand if necessary. When Harper was that age, she was actually quite adventurous, but getting older made her cautious. She's starting to break down some of those self-imposed walls. In fact, when we came to Emma Krumbees when Harper was 2 (or was it 3?), she was the ONLY one to ride the ponies. Of course, Willow couldn't because she was still in Kristen's belly, but Riannah and Nolan refused, and they have yet to ever ride the ponies!
The funny thing about all of this is that it's memorable because it's part of our yearly family traditions. We go places all the time and I rarely remember the silly details like this because we don't make a big deal out of those trips and they don't really mean much (because they're not that special trip that we only make once a year). Even as an adult I find that these traditions are the memories that stick in my mind and offer a good reference from year to year as I watch our children get older. It also helps that we take pictures and can compare the pictures from year to year. For instance, last year there was 4 kids sitting on the wooden guy, this year there was 5!
I can't wait to do it again next year, especially with a 1-year old Isla!!
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Behavior At Home vs. Out and About
Sometimes our kids are absolute pests to each other... at home. Sometimes our kids frustrate the hell out of us... at home. Sometimes our kids just make us want to tear our hair out... at home. The only good thing about these moments is that they happen at home.
For some reason, when we pack our children into the van and go somewhere, our children turn into such well-behaved children that you'd swear they could rarely do anything wrong. In fact, our children can be so amazing while we're out and about that we've often have people come up to us and tell us our children act so well and they just can't believe how wonderful our family is. Wow, if they could only come to our house; then they'd be singing a different tune.
Kristen and I remind ourselves time and time again that as much as the kids fight when they're at home, we're so thankful that they don't do that while we're away from home. We don't end up with the child screaming at Target, throwing a temper-tantrum because he or she didn't get that new toy or candy bar. We don't have to deal with fighting at the restaurant that escalates to embarrassing time-outs. We have had, I think twice, where one of the kids had to be brought out of the store early, but that's extremely rare. We don't have the whiny, complaining kids anywhere... except at home.
We deal with these things at home just like pretty much every other parent out there. We just don't have to deal with them away from home... and I don't really know why. I can't say for sure if it's something we've done or if it's just our kids deciding that they'll put on this "I'm an angel" facade while we're away from home. Sometimes I think it's being surrounded by strangers that makes the kids not want to act out, but that's still me guessing as to why it happens.
Of course, I really don't care why they act so good while we're out, I'm just glad they do. In fact, Kristen and I even praise our children from time to time for their excellent behavior while we're out and about to remind them of how much we appreciate the restrain they show away from home.
This wonderful behavior has apparently been bestowed upon our little almost-1-month old Isla who has gone to the Minnesota State Fair, Mall of America, the Minnesota Zoo, and plenty of trips to Target without you really even realizing she's there. She sleeps soundly in the car seat and seems to enjoy being pushed around in the stroller while in the car seat. It might help that she has a really nice car seat and stroller, but maybe it's just that special out-and-about-behavior that the other kids have.
Of course, when we get into the minivan, all bets are off and the kids start acting like they do when we're at home. But open that door and exit the minivan, and it's angels and halos all around!
Well, mostly...
For some reason, when we pack our children into the van and go somewhere, our children turn into such well-behaved children that you'd swear they could rarely do anything wrong. In fact, our children can be so amazing while we're out and about that we've often have people come up to us and tell us our children act so well and they just can't believe how wonderful our family is. Wow, if they could only come to our house; then they'd be singing a different tune.
Kristen and I remind ourselves time and time again that as much as the kids fight when they're at home, we're so thankful that they don't do that while we're away from home. We don't end up with the child screaming at Target, throwing a temper-tantrum because he or she didn't get that new toy or candy bar. We don't have to deal with fighting at the restaurant that escalates to embarrassing time-outs. We have had, I think twice, where one of the kids had to be brought out of the store early, but that's extremely rare. We don't have the whiny, complaining kids anywhere... except at home.
We deal with these things at home just like pretty much every other parent out there. We just don't have to deal with them away from home... and I don't really know why. I can't say for sure if it's something we've done or if it's just our kids deciding that they'll put on this "I'm an angel" facade while we're away from home. Sometimes I think it's being surrounded by strangers that makes the kids not want to act out, but that's still me guessing as to why it happens.
Of course, I really don't care why they act so good while we're out, I'm just glad they do. In fact, Kristen and I even praise our children from time to time for their excellent behavior while we're out and about to remind them of how much we appreciate the restrain they show away from home.
This wonderful behavior has apparently been bestowed upon our little almost-1-month old Isla who has gone to the Minnesota State Fair, Mall of America, the Minnesota Zoo, and plenty of trips to Target without you really even realizing she's there. She sleeps soundly in the car seat and seems to enjoy being pushed around in the stroller while in the car seat. It might help that she has a really nice car seat and stroller, but maybe it's just that special out-and-about-behavior that the other kids have.
Of course, when we get into the minivan, all bets are off and the kids start acting like they do when we're at home. But open that door and exit the minivan, and it's angels and halos all around!
Well, mostly...
Thursday, September 4, 2014
From the Archives: Time
I'm too busy today to blog, so I'll copy this from the past...
I sit and collect my thoughts for another day
Thinking about how much life has changed
Time moves too fast and days go by too quickly
I wish I could get off this ride and just slow down for one week
But time is often just an interpretation
A minute is always a minute
A day is always a day
A months is always a month
But our mind perceives them in different ways
In the blink of an eye another day has gone by and we start all over again the next morning
Too bad we can’t start the previous day over and do it all over again
But you can’t change the past and you have to adjust for the future
No one else is going to stop their life just because yours has gotten away from you
But what about those that do make time to help others
What about those who disregard a time within their lives to help yours out
Time hasn’t stopped for them but part of them has stopped in time
I believe the term is friend
Sometimes a friend can change your fresh start for the next day
Whether it be a bit of good advice or a little helping hand
But the best friends are those that dedicate their ears to you when you need it the most
A time when you feel so distraught and just need someone to share your thoughts with
Of course listening is only part of friendship
When a response is necessary, that same friend will give it
So instead of trying to change the past, try changing the future
If you can’t do it alone, then look toward your friend for some free advice
And always remember, that same friend may come to you for the same reasons
So lend an ear and see if you can help their future
Life will continue to change but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad
Because a true friend will offer good advice to make those changes better
In the words of Linkin Park
“Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down ‘til the end of the day
The clock ticks life away”
April 13, 2003
I sit and collect my thoughts for another day
Thinking about how much life has changed
Time moves too fast and days go by too quickly
I wish I could get off this ride and just slow down for one week
But time is often just an interpretation
A minute is always a minute
A day is always a day
A months is always a month
But our mind perceives them in different ways
In the blink of an eye another day has gone by and we start all over again the next morning
Too bad we can’t start the previous day over and do it all over again
But you can’t change the past and you have to adjust for the future
No one else is going to stop their life just because yours has gotten away from you
But what about those that do make time to help others
What about those who disregard a time within their lives to help yours out
Time hasn’t stopped for them but part of them has stopped in time
I believe the term is friend
Sometimes a friend can change your fresh start for the next day
Whether it be a bit of good advice or a little helping hand
But the best friends are those that dedicate their ears to you when you need it the most
A time when you feel so distraught and just need someone to share your thoughts with
Of course listening is only part of friendship
When a response is necessary, that same friend will give it
So instead of trying to change the past, try changing the future
If you can’t do it alone, then look toward your friend for some free advice
And always remember, that same friend may come to you for the same reasons
So lend an ear and see if you can help their future
Life will continue to change but that doesn’t mean it has to be bad
Because a true friend will offer good advice to make those changes better
In the words of Linkin Park
“Time is a valuable thing
Watch it fly by as the pendulum swings
Watch it count down ‘til the end of the day
The clock ticks life away”
April 13, 2003
Tuesday, September 2, 2014
The First Days of Grade School
Today was the first day of school for our school district. It's funny to me when I look at how our children reacted to the first day of school in regards to what grade they're in. For Harper starting Kindergarten, the first day of school is intimidating, a bit scary, and really exciting! She came home with a new friend and talked about her first time doing school things. It appears to have worn her down quite a bit as dinner time was accompanied by some obvious signs of tiredness.
For Nolan starting 3rd grade, it's a pretty good change going from 2nd to 3rd grade in the amount of responsibilities he has, but he probably doesn't know that yet. He was able to experience this teacher that is new to him and possibly meet some other kids that he hasn't quite met yet. Maybe he has class with some old friends and maybe he'll make a couple new ones. All in all, it's not much different than before, but at the same time there are new experiences to have.
For Riannah starting 5th grade, it's really not much different. She either has her friends in her class or she doesn't. There isn't much chance of making new friends as by 5th grade, most of a child's friends are set unless someone moves into the area or the kids move into Junior or Senior High when they meet kids from other Elementary schools. School is school and learning simply advances past 4th grade with little changes other than difficulty. Her day probably feels exactly like they did last year and she gets that "it's school" look on her face. I can tell she enjoys being at school instead of home during the day as home was starting to get boring, but now it's time to learn.
For Christopher starting 12th grade, well, I'm sure he's just anxious to get it over with so he can move on to college and adulthood. Yay, adulthood! (:-p) Adulthood is overrated...
Needless to say, the first day of school went well and Harper is excited to go back tomorrow. Although they won't admit it, I'm sure Nolan and Riannah are too as their friends are at school since they don't live in our neighborhood. I wasn't really tickled pink when the kids fell back into their annoying each other habits as we drove to their special "first day of school" dinner, but what should I expect? They're still siblings and when school is over for the day, it's back to home to the same old thing.
Oddly enough, I don't remember any of my first days of Grade School. I don't remember my parents ever taking pictures and I don't ever remember the excitement of going back to school. This could be because my friends lived in the same neighborhood as I did, or it could be that I just don't remember it. I'm sure there was excitement in there somewhere...
It'll be interesting to see how each of our children reacts to the first day of school next year since I've now written a vague briefing on what their first day was like this year.
For Nolan starting 3rd grade, it's a pretty good change going from 2nd to 3rd grade in the amount of responsibilities he has, but he probably doesn't know that yet. He was able to experience this teacher that is new to him and possibly meet some other kids that he hasn't quite met yet. Maybe he has class with some old friends and maybe he'll make a couple new ones. All in all, it's not much different than before, but at the same time there are new experiences to have.
For Riannah starting 5th grade, it's really not much different. She either has her friends in her class or she doesn't. There isn't much chance of making new friends as by 5th grade, most of a child's friends are set unless someone moves into the area or the kids move into Junior or Senior High when they meet kids from other Elementary schools. School is school and learning simply advances past 4th grade with little changes other than difficulty. Her day probably feels exactly like they did last year and she gets that "it's school" look on her face. I can tell she enjoys being at school instead of home during the day as home was starting to get boring, but now it's time to learn.
For Christopher starting 12th grade, well, I'm sure he's just anxious to get it over with so he can move on to college and adulthood. Yay, adulthood! (:-p) Adulthood is overrated...
Needless to say, the first day of school went well and Harper is excited to go back tomorrow. Although they won't admit it, I'm sure Nolan and Riannah are too as their friends are at school since they don't live in our neighborhood. I wasn't really tickled pink when the kids fell back into their annoying each other habits as we drove to their special "first day of school" dinner, but what should I expect? They're still siblings and when school is over for the day, it's back to home to the same old thing.
Oddly enough, I don't remember any of my first days of Grade School. I don't remember my parents ever taking pictures and I don't ever remember the excitement of going back to school. This could be because my friends lived in the same neighborhood as I did, or it could be that I just don't remember it. I'm sure there was excitement in there somewhere...
It'll be interesting to see how each of our children reacts to the first day of school next year since I've now written a vague briefing on what their first day was like this year.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
She's Already a Kindergartener?
Kristen and I are preparing to send our third child off to Kindergarten. On Tuesday, Harper makes the move from being home all day to being at school all day. Being the third one to do so, you'd think this transition process would be easy for us...
Not even close.
Sure, physically Kristen and I are prepared for Harper to begin Kindergarten. She has her backpack, we went to open house, we've discussed how much fun it will be, we've talked about the bus rides, we've talked about lunches (Minnesota has all-day Kindergarten now; new this year), and she has a super cute closet of clothes.
The problem is that emotionally, we are a mess!
I thought it would get easier and easier to send our children off to Kindergarten on their first day. We'd go with to the bus stop, take a few pictures, wave at them as they walk onto the bus, and head back home. The process would become routine and we'd instead be thinking that we're getting that much closer to having no children home during the day and then I can take a day off and spend it alone with my wife! But, we don't think that way. Instead, we keep thinking that our little babies are growing up so quickly that now we have to send another one to school.
Gone will be the days of at-home silliness with a toddler and preschooler. Gone will be the days of having some quiet time with the younger ones as the older ones are learning at school. (I was laid off for 8 months last year, so I got to enjoy this too). Of course, this isn't entirely true as we have a newborn and we'll have those days at home again.
When I really think about it, I don't think the problem is that Kristen and I have a harder time letting go of our children the further down the line they go. I think what's really happening is that Kristen and I have matured so much in the past 7 years as parents that we form better and healthier bonds with our children. There's always that "trial and error" idea that goes along with the first two children, but by the third you know what to expect. By the fourth you really know what to expect. And by the fifth, well, now it's all done out of habit.
Of course, that isn't entirely true either as each child is a little bit different than the others and they can't all be dealt with 100% the same. You have to tweak your approach to match the child. However, I don't really know why we struggle to apply that same concept to watching them prepare for their first day of Kindergarten.
Maybe it's that we're getting older and it's harder to send your children off because you don't have those silly 20-something desires to be without children. I'll admit it, and I'm sure many readers would admit it to themselves, that as I entered my 30s, my view of having children in the house changed with each passing year. I began to love it more and more and more. It has nothing to do with the love you have for your children, but rather everything to do with how you view your world with your children in it. This means you see your weekends as what you can do with the kids, rather than what you can do without them. You see vacations as family vacations, not getaways for two. You start to spend more money on your children and your family and less money on yourself. You do fewer selfish deeds and many more selfless ones.
So at 36, when I think about our children, I think about the fun times we have at home; the silly times when we're running around for no reason at all; the board games we get to play; the stories we get to create; the pictures we get to color; the messes we get to pick up; the books we get to read. Now I have to think about my little girl (she's not little anymore, she's a big 5-year old and I'm so proud of what she's able to do at such a young age) going to school and me not being able to do those things with her during the week. Those times will only be on the weekends. So what's wrong with that?
I don't know about you, but for us, weekends are extremely busy.
Yes I'll have the weekends and evenings to spend with my new Kindergartener, but it's just not the same. She'll either have so much to say when she gets home that she'll only want to tell us about her day or maybe she'll be too tired or maybe she'll get homework (starting in 1st grade).
So what is it I'm not emotionally prepared for (and maybe Kristen too)? Letting my little girl grow up.
Not even close.
Sure, physically Kristen and I are prepared for Harper to begin Kindergarten. She has her backpack, we went to open house, we've discussed how much fun it will be, we've talked about the bus rides, we've talked about lunches (Minnesota has all-day Kindergarten now; new this year), and she has a super cute closet of clothes.
The problem is that emotionally, we are a mess!
I thought it would get easier and easier to send our children off to Kindergarten on their first day. We'd go with to the bus stop, take a few pictures, wave at them as they walk onto the bus, and head back home. The process would become routine and we'd instead be thinking that we're getting that much closer to having no children home during the day and then I can take a day off and spend it alone with my wife! But, we don't think that way. Instead, we keep thinking that our little babies are growing up so quickly that now we have to send another one to school.
Gone will be the days of at-home silliness with a toddler and preschooler. Gone will be the days of having some quiet time with the younger ones as the older ones are learning at school. (I was laid off for 8 months last year, so I got to enjoy this too). Of course, this isn't entirely true as we have a newborn and we'll have those days at home again.
When I really think about it, I don't think the problem is that Kristen and I have a harder time letting go of our children the further down the line they go. I think what's really happening is that Kristen and I have matured so much in the past 7 years as parents that we form better and healthier bonds with our children. There's always that "trial and error" idea that goes along with the first two children, but by the third you know what to expect. By the fourth you really know what to expect. And by the fifth, well, now it's all done out of habit.
Of course, that isn't entirely true either as each child is a little bit different than the others and they can't all be dealt with 100% the same. You have to tweak your approach to match the child. However, I don't really know why we struggle to apply that same concept to watching them prepare for their first day of Kindergarten.
Maybe it's that we're getting older and it's harder to send your children off because you don't have those silly 20-something desires to be without children. I'll admit it, and I'm sure many readers would admit it to themselves, that as I entered my 30s, my view of having children in the house changed with each passing year. I began to love it more and more and more. It has nothing to do with the love you have for your children, but rather everything to do with how you view your world with your children in it. This means you see your weekends as what you can do with the kids, rather than what you can do without them. You see vacations as family vacations, not getaways for two. You start to spend more money on your children and your family and less money on yourself. You do fewer selfish deeds and many more selfless ones.
So at 36, when I think about our children, I think about the fun times we have at home; the silly times when we're running around for no reason at all; the board games we get to play; the stories we get to create; the pictures we get to color; the messes we get to pick up; the books we get to read. Now I have to think about my little girl (she's not little anymore, she's a big 5-year old and I'm so proud of what she's able to do at such a young age) going to school and me not being able to do those things with her during the week. Those times will only be on the weekends. So what's wrong with that?
I don't know about you, but for us, weekends are extremely busy.
Yes I'll have the weekends and evenings to spend with my new Kindergartener, but it's just not the same. She'll either have so much to say when she gets home that she'll only want to tell us about her day or maybe she'll be too tired or maybe she'll get homework (starting in 1st grade).
So what is it I'm not emotionally prepared for (and maybe Kristen too)? Letting my little girl grow up.
Friday, August 29, 2014
Why Yes, We Do Have Five Children
Although I have six children, Kristen and I have five children at home. Whenever we're out and about, we tend to get mixed reactions toward the size of our family. Many times we get this awful look, sort of like you just farted and made it awkward with the person you're interacting with, but have no idea who they are. Sometimes we get the "Really?!" response like we would lie about how many children we have just to get a reaction out of people. Sometimes we get the "awww" look, almost as if people are taken aback by our ability to care for so many children and not go insane.
But, the one response I love the most? "I come from a family with five children, and I loved it!" That's the response I remember the most often. Not the awkward ones, not the ones where people think we're crazy, and certainly not the ones where people make stupid remarks about how many girls we have. I love it when you run into someone who grew up with lots of siblings, but isn't 60-years old and lived on a farm (because the baby boomers had a lot of kids on the farm). Oddly enough, it's often the late-teens or early-twenty-somethings that are working for a living and just glow when they see someone come by with a big family.
The funny thing is, we're not even close to the only ones in the immediate area with 4-6 children. In fact, our children are friends with a family that has 6 children and were friends with a family that has 4 (but they moved away). We also used to have a family down the street from us that has 5 children and I know I've seen many, many mini-vans on the freeway with those silly family stickers that show 4 or 5 children.
When I was growing up in the 80s, large families didn't seem to be as common. Of course, I seem to recall both parents working being more common than it is today. I don't really know why this is, or if I was really only seeing such a small portion of life that I was oblivious to the big families. However, I do know that pretty much everyone I know nowadays that grew up during that era only has 1-2 siblings.
I would love to know what it would have been like to live in the 80s as a parent with 5 children. I'm sure I would be bombarded with horrible looks of shock and responses about how I must be crazy. Not that we don't get those now, I can just picture them being more frequent back then. But then, if you go back to the 50s, people probably wouldn't think twice about seeing a family with 5 children. I only think this because a lot of my friends' parents had 3-5 siblings. It kind of makes you wonder what changes from decade to decade that makes the number of children you have more or less socially acceptable.
I will say one thing, no matter what response we get, I don't think anyone has ever asked us why we have so many children. That would be a little awkward, because honestly it's no one's business but our own. Friends and family can ask those questions, but complete strangers? My reply would be... "What the fuck do you care?" Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe I would reply, "Because we farm them out for money to pay for our drug and expensive car habits." Yep, that would make them think twice about asking.
So why do we have such a big family? Simple; we love our children, we love being parents, we love new babies, and we love each other (that would be a reference to Kristen and I). Yeah it may be stressful at times and yes our grocery bill is ridiculously high, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
But, the one response I love the most? "I come from a family with five children, and I loved it!" That's the response I remember the most often. Not the awkward ones, not the ones where people think we're crazy, and certainly not the ones where people make stupid remarks about how many girls we have. I love it when you run into someone who grew up with lots of siblings, but isn't 60-years old and lived on a farm (because the baby boomers had a lot of kids on the farm). Oddly enough, it's often the late-teens or early-twenty-somethings that are working for a living and just glow when they see someone come by with a big family.
The funny thing is, we're not even close to the only ones in the immediate area with 4-6 children. In fact, our children are friends with a family that has 6 children and were friends with a family that has 4 (but they moved away). We also used to have a family down the street from us that has 5 children and I know I've seen many, many mini-vans on the freeway with those silly family stickers that show 4 or 5 children.
When I was growing up in the 80s, large families didn't seem to be as common. Of course, I seem to recall both parents working being more common than it is today. I don't really know why this is, or if I was really only seeing such a small portion of life that I was oblivious to the big families. However, I do know that pretty much everyone I know nowadays that grew up during that era only has 1-2 siblings.
I would love to know what it would have been like to live in the 80s as a parent with 5 children. I'm sure I would be bombarded with horrible looks of shock and responses about how I must be crazy. Not that we don't get those now, I can just picture them being more frequent back then. But then, if you go back to the 50s, people probably wouldn't think twice about seeing a family with 5 children. I only think this because a lot of my friends' parents had 3-5 siblings. It kind of makes you wonder what changes from decade to decade that makes the number of children you have more or less socially acceptable.
I will say one thing, no matter what response we get, I don't think anyone has ever asked us why we have so many children. That would be a little awkward, because honestly it's no one's business but our own. Friends and family can ask those questions, but complete strangers? My reply would be... "What the fuck do you care?" Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe I would reply, "Because we farm them out for money to pay for our drug and expensive car habits." Yep, that would make them think twice about asking.
So why do we have such a big family? Simple; we love our children, we love being parents, we love new babies, and we love each other (that would be a reference to Kristen and I). Yeah it may be stressful at times and yes our grocery bill is ridiculously high, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
From the Archives: Life
Here's something I wrote in April 2002...
In life, you build the roads you walk on
You construct your bridges to overcome your challenges
You fail, but only to become more learned for the next time
You win, but never give it a second thought
Cause another challenge is just ahead
You can take it in stride with your head up high
You can try to ignore it only to be destined to fail
For you may never win unless you first fall
Cause every failure is a lesson to be learned
And only the smart ones will survive in this world
For life is nothing more than failure and success
And success never comes without a price
No regrets and never look back
Never second-guess yourself
You may lose this time
But there’s always a next
So build your bridge with what you have learned
And know that it was built by your own hands
For the greatest feeling of lifelong success
Is achieved when you pass life’s little test
In life, you build the roads you walk on
You construct your bridges to overcome your challenges
You fail, but only to become more learned for the next time
You win, but never give it a second thought
Cause another challenge is just ahead
You can take it in stride with your head up high
You can try to ignore it only to be destined to fail
For you may never win unless you first fall
Cause every failure is a lesson to be learned
And only the smart ones will survive in this world
For life is nothing more than failure and success
And success never comes without a price
No regrets and never look back
Never second-guess yourself
You may lose this time
But there’s always a next
So build your bridge with what you have learned
And know that it was built by your own hands
For the greatest feeling of lifelong success
Is achieved when you pass life’s little test
Sunday, August 24, 2014
So Many Somedays
Before I begin, I spoke with my wife, Kristen, who said she doesn't mind that I use the kids name on the blog. They are (in age order): Christopher (17), Riannah (10), Nolan (8), Harper (5), Willow (2), and Isla (2 weeks) [you say it like this: eye-la].
Kristen and I love to dream about some day. We love to think about what we can do next year or the year after that, or even many years down the line. For instance, "someday we'll get a bigger house with our own yard" (we live in a townhouse). Or "someday we'll get a bigger van so that everyone has more room". There's always something we look forward to, and someday we'll be able to make those visions come true.
We don't always just dream about someday; we sometimes get to make those visions true. Last year we took a family trip to Anna Maria Island in Florida. It was a fun 3-day drive each way, we got to spend a couple days at Kristen's parents house, and Kristen even got to meet a good friend of hers face-to-face in St. Louis. That was one of our somedays.
Before we left for that Florida trip, we traded in our Ford Freestyle for a Chrysler Town & Country with the stow-and-go seating. That was one of our somedays (to move to a vehicle with more room).
We like to live our lives thinking about someday. It helps motivate us to do some of the things we do and always focuses us on some type of goal. Today, we had a family get-together to celebrate my father and stepmother's 25th Anniversary. As an awesome anniversary treat, they were able to hold our 2-week old Isla and my sister's 2 1/2 month old William (although he was born prematurely and thus isn't much bigger than Isla). I snapped a picture of the two babies being held by their grandparents and it was such a cute moment. But, it got me thinking, and Kristen and I think about this often, someday we'll be grandparents, but how many grandchildren will we have?
If our children are like us, we'll have 36 grandchildren. YIKES! If they're not, maybe we'll have 12. Regardless, we'll have an anniversary and at that anniversary, we'll get to take pictures with our cute little grandchildren on our laps or snuggled into our chests (depending on their age, of course). Kristen and I have been married coming up on 7 years so we'll be celebrating our 25th Anniversary when Isla is 18 and Christopher is 35. Thus, it's quite conceivable that we too could have a pair of newborn grandchildren to snuggle with and have cute pictures taken of.
Now, it's weird to think about having grandchildren someday when you're only 36 and you have a 2-week old nuzzled under your chin. But that's what Kristen and I do, and I can't wait for all the wonderful get-togethers we're going to have with our children and grandchildren. I can't wait to smother them with hugs, kisses, and pixie sticks! I can't wait to get the Grandparents Plus Grandchildren pass to the Minnesota Zoo and bring all of them around like a herd of monkeys running around and screaming after lunching on pretzels, cookies, and Mt. Dew. I can't wait to turn them into crazy, screaming children who seriously need a nap and hand them over to their parents with a smile of revenge on our faces!
But, most of all, I can't wait until that someday leads to visions of another someday. Because life is an interesting roller coaster that Kristen and I have ridden many times.
Kristen and I love to dream about some day. We love to think about what we can do next year or the year after that, or even many years down the line. For instance, "someday we'll get a bigger house with our own yard" (we live in a townhouse). Or "someday we'll get a bigger van so that everyone has more room". There's always something we look forward to, and someday we'll be able to make those visions come true.
We don't always just dream about someday; we sometimes get to make those visions true. Last year we took a family trip to Anna Maria Island in Florida. It was a fun 3-day drive each way, we got to spend a couple days at Kristen's parents house, and Kristen even got to meet a good friend of hers face-to-face in St. Louis. That was one of our somedays.
Before we left for that Florida trip, we traded in our Ford Freestyle for a Chrysler Town & Country with the stow-and-go seating. That was one of our somedays (to move to a vehicle with more room).
We like to live our lives thinking about someday. It helps motivate us to do some of the things we do and always focuses us on some type of goal. Today, we had a family get-together to celebrate my father and stepmother's 25th Anniversary. As an awesome anniversary treat, they were able to hold our 2-week old Isla and my sister's 2 1/2 month old William (although he was born prematurely and thus isn't much bigger than Isla). I snapped a picture of the two babies being held by their grandparents and it was such a cute moment. But, it got me thinking, and Kristen and I think about this often, someday we'll be grandparents, but how many grandchildren will we have?
If our children are like us, we'll have 36 grandchildren. YIKES! If they're not, maybe we'll have 12. Regardless, we'll have an anniversary and at that anniversary, we'll get to take pictures with our cute little grandchildren on our laps or snuggled into our chests (depending on their age, of course). Kristen and I have been married coming up on 7 years so we'll be celebrating our 25th Anniversary when Isla is 18 and Christopher is 35. Thus, it's quite conceivable that we too could have a pair of newborn grandchildren to snuggle with and have cute pictures taken of.
Now, it's weird to think about having grandchildren someday when you're only 36 and you have a 2-week old nuzzled under your chin. But that's what Kristen and I do, and I can't wait for all the wonderful get-togethers we're going to have with our children and grandchildren. I can't wait to smother them with hugs, kisses, and pixie sticks! I can't wait to get the Grandparents Plus Grandchildren pass to the Minnesota Zoo and bring all of them around like a herd of monkeys running around and screaming after lunching on pretzels, cookies, and Mt. Dew. I can't wait to turn them into crazy, screaming children who seriously need a nap and hand them over to their parents with a smile of revenge on our faces!
But, most of all, I can't wait until that someday leads to visions of another someday. Because life is an interesting roller coaster that Kristen and I have ridden many times.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Always End the Day on a High Note
My wife and I have found that creating a regular nighttime schedule for our kids is the key to a happy bed time process. Around 7:00 PM is jammy time, followed by relaxing in the living room. If the day has been filled with too much driving time, then relax time is instead substituted with "get the sillies out" time. At 8:00 we head upstairs for story time. During story time, I either read a book or we sit around and tell a story whereas each of us gives one line of the story at a time and we take turns. The kids seem to love our story time and the stories we tell tend to get a bit silly. These definitely aren't the types of stories you'd see in a children's book as they are way too disconnected. But who cares, they're fun to tell and the kids enjoy it.
We do this everyday. We start in R & H's room, do story time, say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then take N & W to their room. We read a good toddler book and say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then head downstairs. Now, of course, I keeps my wife (and sometimes me) busy with feeding and general newborn shenanigans.
The thing is, this is what we do every night to end every day on a high note. No matter what the kids did that day, no matter how many times they got in trouble, no matter how many stupid things they did, and no matter how much time they were forced to spend in their bedroom, we always finish our day the same way. Of course, sometimes we're up really late due to whatever activity is going on and story time is cut short; but for the most part it's always the same (although the stories vary quite a bit).
This is our little way of reminding our children of how important they are to us, how much we love each and every one of them, and that no matter what they do, we still love them as much as we did when they woke up that morning. In a way, I think this helps us get through all the shenanigans because our children know that we are there to tuck them in at night, no matter what.
I have no proof of this, but I think this regular nightly routine also helps to breed a happy household. With five kids in the house, it's conceivable that one could feel left out on any given day. But no matter how much attention each one gets that day, they all get the same attention at night as we sit in a circle and tell a story about sharks, poop, eating people, turning into animals, and getting run over by cars.
Yep, those are some memorable stories!
We do this everyday. We start in R & H's room, do story time, say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then take N & W to their room. We read a good toddler book and say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then head downstairs. Now, of course, I keeps my wife (and sometimes me) busy with feeding and general newborn shenanigans.
The thing is, this is what we do every night to end every day on a high note. No matter what the kids did that day, no matter how many times they got in trouble, no matter how many stupid things they did, and no matter how much time they were forced to spend in their bedroom, we always finish our day the same way. Of course, sometimes we're up really late due to whatever activity is going on and story time is cut short; but for the most part it's always the same (although the stories vary quite a bit).
This is our little way of reminding our children of how important they are to us, how much we love each and every one of them, and that no matter what they do, we still love them as much as we did when they woke up that morning. In a way, I think this helps us get through all the shenanigans because our children know that we are there to tuck them in at night, no matter what.
I have no proof of this, but I think this regular nightly routine also helps to breed a happy household. With five kids in the house, it's conceivable that one could feel left out on any given day. But no matter how much attention each one gets that day, they all get the same attention at night as we sit in a circle and tell a story about sharks, poop, eating people, turning into animals, and getting run over by cars.
Yep, those are some memorable stories!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
I Wish I Could Lactate
Having a new baby can make certain, everyday things a bit tricky. Today was a perfect example of this. My wife went to the store with R and N and I happily stayed home with H, W, and our newborn I. H was wonderfully entertained by relaxing on the couch after we had worn her out at the pool. W decided to take a nap and I fell asleep. By the time my wife got home it was time to start making dinner. Not a big deal; we both help out while I was sleeping soundly.
About 2 minutes after the kids are served, I wakes up from her nap and is definitely hungry. I don't like forcing my wife to miss sitting down with the kids all the day and she doesn't want to do the same to me, so when something like this occurs, one of us scoops her up and keeps her happy until the other is available.
Well, my wife breastfeeds so you can see my slight dilemma when I is hungry and my wife has just sat down to eat while I bounce our baby around, keeping her preoccupied. Situations like this would be so much easier if we men could also lactate during our baby's first year. Then, while my wife is eating dinner, I can sit down with I and feed her, making her one happy girl!
Of course, the thought of it is weird and I can see many of us men being quite immature about the whole situation and turning to milk fights or something like that. Also, would that mean we'd grow large breasts? Hmm, just typing it makes me picture weird things in my head.
Yes, I know, my wife could pump and I could bottle feed, but that really defeats the purpose of breastfeeding and adds that extra cost and hassle of pumping and using bottles. Also, it's not that I have this urge to bond with our new baby in a different way, because her and I do plenty of bonding as she's a very snuggly baby (yeah I said snuggly!).
I'm just picturing how different life would be for new couples if the men could also lactate. Now, maybe it's not for a full year, but just for the first few weeks to give our wives a bit of a helping hand. Then, when we're done feeding, we could fill a Super Soaker with milk and run around with the guys having milk fights.
Ah yes, the beauty of acting immature even as an adult.
About 2 minutes after the kids are served, I wakes up from her nap and is definitely hungry. I don't like forcing my wife to miss sitting down with the kids all the day and she doesn't want to do the same to me, so when something like this occurs, one of us scoops her up and keeps her happy until the other is available.
Well, my wife breastfeeds so you can see my slight dilemma when I is hungry and my wife has just sat down to eat while I bounce our baby around, keeping her preoccupied. Situations like this would be so much easier if we men could also lactate during our baby's first year. Then, while my wife is eating dinner, I can sit down with I and feed her, making her one happy girl!
Of course, the thought of it is weird and I can see many of us men being quite immature about the whole situation and turning to milk fights or something like that. Also, would that mean we'd grow large breasts? Hmm, just typing it makes me picture weird things in my head.
Yes, I know, my wife could pump and I could bottle feed, but that really defeats the purpose of breastfeeding and adds that extra cost and hassle of pumping and using bottles. Also, it's not that I have this urge to bond with our new baby in a different way, because her and I do plenty of bonding as she's a very snuggly baby (yeah I said snuggly!).
I'm just picturing how different life would be for new couples if the men could also lactate. Now, maybe it's not for a full year, but just for the first few weeks to give our wives a bit of a helping hand. Then, when we're done feeding, we could fill a Super Soaker with milk and run around with the guys having milk fights.
Ah yes, the beauty of acting immature even as an adult.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Role Reversals
I mentioned the other day that my wife and I have five children at home. They are currently 10, 8, 5, 2, and almost 2 weeks old. When our newborn came home from the hospital, our 5-year old was moved from the center row of our minivan to the back row, in-between our 10- and 8-year olds. Thankfully, the older two are out of car seats and our 5-year old's car seat is quite narrow considering it's a car seat.
Our 5- and 8-year old often clash while at home. Forcing them to sit next to each other... well you can imagine how well it's been going over during these first two weeks. My Dad used to use the saying "That went over like a fart in church." and that probably isn't far from the truth. Not that I really understand what his saying ultimately means. It must be a generational thing. Our 5-year old tends to be the target for our 8-year old's annoyance and we often find ourselves yelling at him to leave his younger sister alone.
The other day, I had to explain to both of our children that they are now sitting next to each other like the way they are until the day we can get a larger minivan. Our 8-year old seemed to take the statement in stride and our 5-year old gave me her patented "I don't want to get in trouble" treatment. Of course, that statement wasn't meant to state that either of them was in trouble, just to happily remind them that they need to be nicer as they're pretty much stuck in that state of minivan placement.
We decided to head to our regular Tuesday dinner outing, and things went quite well during the drive to dinner. The kids were jovial with each other and when one was begging to pester, the other turned their head and gave the silent treatment. Looks like a win right? That's what I thought, until we went home.
After dinner on Tuesdays, we hit the nearby park to let the kids unwind and get some of their pent-up energy out. This usually works pretty well and we often find the ride home quieter than the ride to dinner when tiredness begins to set in (although that doesn't always happen). Instead of repeating what was a relatively pleasant drive out, our 5-year old decided to reverse roles with our 8- and 10-year olds and become the ultimate little sister pest.
Wow... that definitely went over like a fart in church. Our older two were nothing short of angry as their little sister continually pestered them with any means she found possible. And no matter how many times they complained about it or tried to stop her, she refused to relent. My wife and I even had to attempt to step in, which is quite difficult when you're driving down the highway in a minivan.
I was angry; I'll admit it. I was angry that our daughter would do that even after the talk we had earlier that day and the fact that I don't think she's ever gone to those lengths of pestering before. However, no matter how angry I got, I was also laughing inside. Something deep down wanted to burst out and yell out "You can dish it out, but you can't take it?!"
Yeah... that would have been childish. But I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that the roles had completely reversed and now the older two were essentially getting a taste of their own medicine. This doesn't give my daughter an excuse to act that way, but it sure made for an interesting drive home.
As you may have noticed, I'm not using my family's name in this blog. This is done purposefully. However, because typing x-year old is so awkward, I may use abbreviations in the future: R, N, H, W, and I from oldest to youngest. K is my wife. That seems much less awkward and easier to read!
Our 5- and 8-year old often clash while at home. Forcing them to sit next to each other... well you can imagine how well it's been going over during these first two weeks. My Dad used to use the saying "That went over like a fart in church." and that probably isn't far from the truth. Not that I really understand what his saying ultimately means. It must be a generational thing. Our 5-year old tends to be the target for our 8-year old's annoyance and we often find ourselves yelling at him to leave his younger sister alone.
The other day, I had to explain to both of our children that they are now sitting next to each other like the way they are until the day we can get a larger minivan. Our 8-year old seemed to take the statement in stride and our 5-year old gave me her patented "I don't want to get in trouble" treatment. Of course, that statement wasn't meant to state that either of them was in trouble, just to happily remind them that they need to be nicer as they're pretty much stuck in that state of minivan placement.
We decided to head to our regular Tuesday dinner outing, and things went quite well during the drive to dinner. The kids were jovial with each other and when one was begging to pester, the other turned their head and gave the silent treatment. Looks like a win right? That's what I thought, until we went home.
After dinner on Tuesdays, we hit the nearby park to let the kids unwind and get some of their pent-up energy out. This usually works pretty well and we often find the ride home quieter than the ride to dinner when tiredness begins to set in (although that doesn't always happen). Instead of repeating what was a relatively pleasant drive out, our 5-year old decided to reverse roles with our 8- and 10-year olds and become the ultimate little sister pest.
Wow... that definitely went over like a fart in church. Our older two were nothing short of angry as their little sister continually pestered them with any means she found possible. And no matter how many times they complained about it or tried to stop her, she refused to relent. My wife and I even had to attempt to step in, which is quite difficult when you're driving down the highway in a minivan.
I was angry; I'll admit it. I was angry that our daughter would do that even after the talk we had earlier that day and the fact that I don't think she's ever gone to those lengths of pestering before. However, no matter how angry I got, I was also laughing inside. Something deep down wanted to burst out and yell out "You can dish it out, but you can't take it?!"
Yeah... that would have been childish. But I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that the roles had completely reversed and now the older two were essentially getting a taste of their own medicine. This doesn't give my daughter an excuse to act that way, but it sure made for an interesting drive home.
As you may have noticed, I'm not using my family's name in this blog. This is done purposefully. However, because typing x-year old is so awkward, I may use abbreviations in the future: R, N, H, W, and I from oldest to youngest. K is my wife. That seems much less awkward and easier to read!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Neighbors are Jerks
Okay, so that's a fairly broad generalization. Let's face it, not all neighbors are jerks. Plus, when I say neighbors I mean those that live in your grand neighborhood; not the concept that only those immediately around you are your neighbors.
Let me take a minutes to introduce myself. My name is Aaron T. Huss. I'm a father of six (to be explained later), a devoted husband, a career engineer, a geek, a tabletop gamer, and an independent publisher and writer. I love to write and I always seem to have something on my mind and wanted a place to let it out. Thus, I started a blog like many others out there. Why? To share my thoughts and start conversations. Not to troll for responses; I prefer actual conversations and debates, not internet screaming. (You know, with capital letters.)
Yes, I am a father of six. My wife and I have five at home and I have one from a previous marriage that lives with his mother and is starting his senior year this year. I'm only 36... so do the math. Our newest bundle of joy, girl #4, was born on August 8 (as in, 10 days ago August 8) and I am currently on paternity leave working half days for a couple weeks. This leads me to my first blog post.
Why are neighbors jerks? Honestly; beats the hell out of me. I think a better question is why are there so many jerk offs in the United States? But then, what makes someone a jerk? Well, that's in the eyes of the beholder, but I'm more than willing to generalize my thoughts.
First, when someone knowingly and willingly breaks the rules, gets caught, and then argues and yells that they're in the right and the person enforcing the rules is in the wrong is a jerk; at least in my mind. These type of people think they're so special or privileged or something that they're almost above-the-law and don't have to follow the same rules that everyone else does. Then, if you call them out in the rule breaking, you look like the bad guy because they obviously have the right to do something wrong. My kids do that too, but that's because they're kids and not grown adults. Grown adults know better... at least you think they'd know better.
Second, someone that throws insults at someone else just because they "don't get it" makes them a jerk. When you live a life full of ridiculous shit like some of us have, you can go ahead and joke about things. However, when you don't understand why we do the things we do, don't think that you can insult us for them; that makes you a jerk. Again, children do that because they don't always understand right from wrong. Adults should know better.
Third, someone that makes snide remarks to make themselves feel better; that's what a jerk does. It's one thing to make comments to your significant other while in the privacy of your own regarding someone you saw earlier that day; it's something completely different to yell out these remarks indirectly to most likely make you feel better. I'm not going to get into the reasons why someone would do this, because that's a pretty long list.
Fourth is entitlement; which kind of sounds like the first one, but goes a little further. For instance, why is it that the jerk driving the BMW thinks it's necessary to put himself and the drivers around him in danger by weaving in and out of traffic while talking on the phone? It's almost as if he feels entitled just because of the car he's driving. I had a guy once that wanted to get in line in front of me at Subway while I was nearing the end of ordering simply because he had no patience and couldn't teach his son any patience either. He felt entitled to going in front simply because his order was smaller. Last time I checked, fast food restaurants were first in, first out. You wait in line just like everyone else. However, I will say that it's one thing to ask to move ahead in line when someone else is waiting in that same line and it's completely different when the person is already over halfway through ordering. "Um, hey jerk, why don't you wait like everyone else has to? Besides, I'm almost finished and you should teach your son the quality of patience."
So, go ahead, tell me about your jerk encounters...
Let me take a minutes to introduce myself. My name is Aaron T. Huss. I'm a father of six (to be explained later), a devoted husband, a career engineer, a geek, a tabletop gamer, and an independent publisher and writer. I love to write and I always seem to have something on my mind and wanted a place to let it out. Thus, I started a blog like many others out there. Why? To share my thoughts and start conversations. Not to troll for responses; I prefer actual conversations and debates, not internet screaming. (You know, with capital letters.)
Yes, I am a father of six. My wife and I have five at home and I have one from a previous marriage that lives with his mother and is starting his senior year this year. I'm only 36... so do the math. Our newest bundle of joy, girl #4, was born on August 8 (as in, 10 days ago August 8) and I am currently on paternity leave working half days for a couple weeks. This leads me to my first blog post.
Why are neighbors jerks? Honestly; beats the hell out of me. I think a better question is why are there so many jerk offs in the United States? But then, what makes someone a jerk? Well, that's in the eyes of the beholder, but I'm more than willing to generalize my thoughts.
First, when someone knowingly and willingly breaks the rules, gets caught, and then argues and yells that they're in the right and the person enforcing the rules is in the wrong is a jerk; at least in my mind. These type of people think they're so special or privileged or something that they're almost above-the-law and don't have to follow the same rules that everyone else does. Then, if you call them out in the rule breaking, you look like the bad guy because they obviously have the right to do something wrong. My kids do that too, but that's because they're kids and not grown adults. Grown adults know better... at least you think they'd know better.
Second, someone that throws insults at someone else just because they "don't get it" makes them a jerk. When you live a life full of ridiculous shit like some of us have, you can go ahead and joke about things. However, when you don't understand why we do the things we do, don't think that you can insult us for them; that makes you a jerk. Again, children do that because they don't always understand right from wrong. Adults should know better.
Third, someone that makes snide remarks to make themselves feel better; that's what a jerk does. It's one thing to make comments to your significant other while in the privacy of your own regarding someone you saw earlier that day; it's something completely different to yell out these remarks indirectly to most likely make you feel better. I'm not going to get into the reasons why someone would do this, because that's a pretty long list.
Fourth is entitlement; which kind of sounds like the first one, but goes a little further. For instance, why is it that the jerk driving the BMW thinks it's necessary to put himself and the drivers around him in danger by weaving in and out of traffic while talking on the phone? It's almost as if he feels entitled just because of the car he's driving. I had a guy once that wanted to get in line in front of me at Subway while I was nearing the end of ordering simply because he had no patience and couldn't teach his son any patience either. He felt entitled to going in front simply because his order was smaller. Last time I checked, fast food restaurants were first in, first out. You wait in line just like everyone else. However, I will say that it's one thing to ask to move ahead in line when someone else is waiting in that same line and it's completely different when the person is already over halfway through ordering. "Um, hey jerk, why don't you wait like everyone else has to? Besides, I'm almost finished and you should teach your son the quality of patience."
So, go ahead, tell me about your jerk encounters...
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)