I think I'm going to stick with blogging on Sundays as my other days are filled with other things. So hopefully, every Sunday you'll find new words of wisdom about being a geek dad of six wonderful children!
I was thinking the other day how considerably different our children are. Even though they're siblings and you would think that what you learned from one can be applied to another, it's simply not 100% true. Sure you learn how to deal with temper tantrums or what to do when one of them completely breaks down while you're walking through Target or how to break the sleeping habits of a toddler, but you simply cannot approach each of them in the exact same fashion when it comes to how they handle their life on a day-to-day basis.
Here's how our children look: Riannah is the athletic girl who really stopped caring about toys years ago. Nolan is the silly boy who doesn't really know what he wants and changes on a yearly basis. Harper is our girly girl who loves clothes and shoes. Willow is our mothering girl who loves to do things with her dollies or other things that are mothering-like. I wonder what Isla's going to be like?
Before your kids turn 2, this doesn't really mean much. Most babies can be approached in a very similar fashion for those first two years, although there are still little things here and there to be aware of. Not every baby will have the same sleeping or eating schedule and not every baby will be happy being held the same way. But that's not what I'm talking about here.
What I'm referring to is how you approach your children as they grow up and you begin to recognize what their likes and dislikes are. The more those show, the more you can hone in on the best ones and attempt to exploit them. This is very important when it comes to birthday and Christmas gifts. Sure your kids will tell you they really want this toy or that toy, especially if they saw it on TV or a friend or cousin has it, but do they REALLY want it?
We've bought dozens and dozens of gifts for our children that entertain them for 2-3 months and then gets shoved aside to collect dust. Those just happen to be the gifts they really want... apparently. However, what you notice is that they're actually playing with something that was a gift you happened upon and thought they'd like it; not really knowing if they would or not. And then, 9 months later, they're still playing with it. For our children, it's usually the $50 gift they don't truly like, but the $25 one is super awesome! Of course, if you have multiple children like us that all have different tastes, you can't expect the toys to get handed down from child to child and keep them happy. It just doesn't work 100% that way.
That's just one why siblings are unique from each other - their tastes in gifts. The second is entertainment that doesn't involve gifts but rather involves interaction between child and parent. That's usually where things get difficult as you try to please them all at the same time with a single activity, but it doesn't work as well as you'd like.
So what do you do? What we do is find little things that entertain all of them for a short period of time. A good example of this is today after dinner we pulled the car and van out of the garage and let the kids ride around and play in the garage, doing whatever they'd like (jump rope, hula hoops, scooter, or bike). They all enjoyed it, but some of them probably could have done it much longer than the others. Another thing we do on a regular basis is go somewhere and try to make it fun for all in some sort of way. An example of this is the zoo. We'll go to the play area so the kids can get the ants out of their pants, do plenty of walking, get some cotton candy for fun, see the animals each one likes, and basically do whatever we can to make the overall trip enjoyable for all of them. It's basically a collection of little things in one trip...
The third is activities the kids enjoy without us needing to be involved. Nolan likes riding his bike, but Riannah doesn't seem to enjoy it as much; she'd rather ride her scooter. Harper likes riding her bike, but she's very hesitant if she's not riding on a mostly flat surface. Willow doesn't ride for long and would rather run or walk. This means that an after-dinner play session or walk through the neighborhood can be tricky if each one doesn't "move" at the same pace. But we try to let each one ride whatever they'd like to ride and then we accommodate their speed. When you're a parent, however, you are the one that has to figure out which style of riding each child prefers and hopefully exploit that. This could result in a cool gift idea or maybe lessons during the summer time.
It takes a fair amount of time to figure each child out. And when you think you've figured it out, they throw you for a loop and you realize you're not quite there. But it definitely takes a good eye to read your children's likes and dislikes without them telling you, because many of them won't tell you. Sometimes you have to ask, sometimes you have to just sign them up and see how they do, and sometimes you just lay out a bunch of options and see which one they like the best.
Even though they have the same parents, there's always something new to learn from subsequent children.
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