As Stubborn as a 4-Year Old

You've heard the old saying, "as stubborn as a mule." Well, I'd like to add a new one; "as stubborn as a 4-year old." With our fourth child being 3-years old, I'm realizing that all children seem to go through this extreme stubbornness that develops when they're 3, blossoms when they're 4, and begins to fade when they're 5. Not that it truly goes away, but it seems to peak at the age of 4. Lucky us; we have two more children that will go through the 4-year old stubbornness.

Sometimes I find myself becoming quite frustrated with the bouts of extreme stubbornness. This makes those occasions difficult to overcome without letting your child's behavior get the best of you, but sometimes it gets to a point where you literally don't know what to do without giving in. This could be something as simple as "pick up your toys please" resulting with the "no, you do it" response.  This can go on for hours as this behavior doesn't relent regarding that particular situation. You could finally give in and just pick up after your child, or make sure they understand how you don't appreciate the behavior.

I'm going to say this quite plainly; the former decision, if it's the regular decision, will only lead to a life of misery as the child gets older. They will become more defiant because they know that their defiance leads to you giving in.

The latter decision, while harder to deal with, can lead to that fading of the stubbornness when your child reaches the age of 5. Enforce some type of penalty (for us it's the loss of today's reward chart sticker and the loss of dessert) so that your child knows that behavior is not acceptable and you won't relent.

It's been stated in many sources that when children reach 3 / 4, they begin testing their parents. Stubbornness is one of those wonderful tests. This is what we're dealing with when it comes to Willow. She too is on the really awesome reward chart and she too can lose her sticker that day. This way, she knows there's no reward for her that day when she behaves that way. She also learns that Kristen and I are not push-overs and we don't tolerate this type of behavior in terms of "okay, I'll just do it for you then." Nope; not I. I love my children to death, but there's no way in hell I'm going to give in to their ridiculous behavior, no matter how much their pouting makes me giggle.

Five minutes of holding your grounds while your children are in that 3-5 range makes for weeks and weeks of not having to deal with it when they get older. That's how I see it.