Kristen and I are preparing to send our third child off to Kindergarten. On Tuesday, Harper makes the move from being home all day to being at school all day. Being the third one to do so, you'd think this transition process would be easy for us...
Not even close.
Sure, physically Kristen and I are prepared for Harper to begin Kindergarten. She has her backpack, we went to open house, we've discussed how much fun it will be, we've talked about the bus rides, we've talked about lunches (Minnesota has all-day Kindergarten now; new this year), and she has a super cute closet of clothes.
The problem is that emotionally, we are a mess!
I thought it would get easier and easier to send our children off to Kindergarten on their first day. We'd go with to the bus stop, take a few pictures, wave at them as they walk onto the bus, and head back home. The process would become routine and we'd instead be thinking that we're getting that much closer to having no children home during the day and then I can take a day off and spend it alone with my wife! But, we don't think that way. Instead, we keep thinking that our little babies are growing up so quickly that now we have to send another one to school.
Gone will be the days of at-home silliness with a toddler and preschooler. Gone will be the days of having some quiet time with the younger ones as the older ones are learning at school. (I was laid off for 8 months last year, so I got to enjoy this too). Of course, this isn't entirely true as we have a newborn and we'll have those days at home again.
When I really think about it, I don't think the problem is that Kristen and I have a harder time letting go of our children the further down the line they go. I think what's really happening is that Kristen and I have matured so much in the past 7 years as parents that we form better and healthier bonds with our children. There's always that "trial and error" idea that goes along with the first two children, but by the third you know what to expect. By the fourth you really know what to expect. And by the fifth, well, now it's all done out of habit.
Of course, that isn't entirely true either as each child is a little bit different than the others and they can't all be dealt with 100% the same. You have to tweak your approach to match the child. However, I don't really know why we struggle to apply that same concept to watching them prepare for their first day of Kindergarten.
Maybe it's that we're getting older and it's harder to send your children off because you don't have those silly 20-something desires to be without children. I'll admit it, and I'm sure many readers would admit it to themselves, that as I entered my 30s, my view of having children in the house changed with each passing year. I began to love it more and more and more. It has nothing to do with the love you have for your children, but rather everything to do with how you view your world with your children in it. This means you see your weekends as what you can do with the kids, rather than what you can do without them. You see vacations as family vacations, not getaways for two. You start to spend more money on your children and your family and less money on yourself. You do fewer selfish deeds and many more selfless ones.
So at 36, when I think about our children, I think about the fun times we have at home; the silly times when we're running around for no reason at all; the board games we get to play; the stories we get to create; the pictures we get to color; the messes we get to pick up; the books we get to read. Now I have to think about my little girl (she's not little anymore, she's a big 5-year old and I'm so proud of what she's able to do at such a young age) going to school and me not being able to do those things with her during the week. Those times will only be on the weekends. So what's wrong with that?
I don't know about you, but for us, weekends are extremely busy.
Yes I'll have the weekends and evenings to spend with my new Kindergartener, but it's just not the same. She'll either have so much to say when she gets home that she'll only want to tell us about her day or maybe she'll be too tired or maybe she'll get homework (starting in 1st grade).
So what is it I'm not emotionally prepared for (and maybe Kristen too)? Letting my little girl grow up.
Sunday, August 31, 2014
Friday, August 29, 2014
Why Yes, We Do Have Five Children
Although I have six children, Kristen and I have five children at home. Whenever we're out and about, we tend to get mixed reactions toward the size of our family. Many times we get this awful look, sort of like you just farted and made it awkward with the person you're interacting with, but have no idea who they are. Sometimes we get the "Really?!" response like we would lie about how many children we have just to get a reaction out of people. Sometimes we get the "awww" look, almost as if people are taken aback by our ability to care for so many children and not go insane.
But, the one response I love the most? "I come from a family with five children, and I loved it!" That's the response I remember the most often. Not the awkward ones, not the ones where people think we're crazy, and certainly not the ones where people make stupid remarks about how many girls we have. I love it when you run into someone who grew up with lots of siblings, but isn't 60-years old and lived on a farm (because the baby boomers had a lot of kids on the farm). Oddly enough, it's often the late-teens or early-twenty-somethings that are working for a living and just glow when they see someone come by with a big family.
The funny thing is, we're not even close to the only ones in the immediate area with 4-6 children. In fact, our children are friends with a family that has 6 children and were friends with a family that has 4 (but they moved away). We also used to have a family down the street from us that has 5 children and I know I've seen many, many mini-vans on the freeway with those silly family stickers that show 4 or 5 children.
When I was growing up in the 80s, large families didn't seem to be as common. Of course, I seem to recall both parents working being more common than it is today. I don't really know why this is, or if I was really only seeing such a small portion of life that I was oblivious to the big families. However, I do know that pretty much everyone I know nowadays that grew up during that era only has 1-2 siblings.
I would love to know what it would have been like to live in the 80s as a parent with 5 children. I'm sure I would be bombarded with horrible looks of shock and responses about how I must be crazy. Not that we don't get those now, I can just picture them being more frequent back then. But then, if you go back to the 50s, people probably wouldn't think twice about seeing a family with 5 children. I only think this because a lot of my friends' parents had 3-5 siblings. It kind of makes you wonder what changes from decade to decade that makes the number of children you have more or less socially acceptable.
I will say one thing, no matter what response we get, I don't think anyone has ever asked us why we have so many children. That would be a little awkward, because honestly it's no one's business but our own. Friends and family can ask those questions, but complete strangers? My reply would be... "What the fuck do you care?" Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe I would reply, "Because we farm them out for money to pay for our drug and expensive car habits." Yep, that would make them think twice about asking.
So why do we have such a big family? Simple; we love our children, we love being parents, we love new babies, and we love each other (that would be a reference to Kristen and I). Yeah it may be stressful at times and yes our grocery bill is ridiculously high, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
But, the one response I love the most? "I come from a family with five children, and I loved it!" That's the response I remember the most often. Not the awkward ones, not the ones where people think we're crazy, and certainly not the ones where people make stupid remarks about how many girls we have. I love it when you run into someone who grew up with lots of siblings, but isn't 60-years old and lived on a farm (because the baby boomers had a lot of kids on the farm). Oddly enough, it's often the late-teens or early-twenty-somethings that are working for a living and just glow when they see someone come by with a big family.
The funny thing is, we're not even close to the only ones in the immediate area with 4-6 children. In fact, our children are friends with a family that has 6 children and were friends with a family that has 4 (but they moved away). We also used to have a family down the street from us that has 5 children and I know I've seen many, many mini-vans on the freeway with those silly family stickers that show 4 or 5 children.
When I was growing up in the 80s, large families didn't seem to be as common. Of course, I seem to recall both parents working being more common than it is today. I don't really know why this is, or if I was really only seeing such a small portion of life that I was oblivious to the big families. However, I do know that pretty much everyone I know nowadays that grew up during that era only has 1-2 siblings.
I would love to know what it would have been like to live in the 80s as a parent with 5 children. I'm sure I would be bombarded with horrible looks of shock and responses about how I must be crazy. Not that we don't get those now, I can just picture them being more frequent back then. But then, if you go back to the 50s, people probably wouldn't think twice about seeing a family with 5 children. I only think this because a lot of my friends' parents had 3-5 siblings. It kind of makes you wonder what changes from decade to decade that makes the number of children you have more or less socially acceptable.
I will say one thing, no matter what response we get, I don't think anyone has ever asked us why we have so many children. That would be a little awkward, because honestly it's no one's business but our own. Friends and family can ask those questions, but complete strangers? My reply would be... "What the fuck do you care?" Okay, maybe that's a little harsh. Maybe I would reply, "Because we farm them out for money to pay for our drug and expensive car habits." Yep, that would make them think twice about asking.
So why do we have such a big family? Simple; we love our children, we love being parents, we love new babies, and we love each other (that would be a reference to Kristen and I). Yeah it may be stressful at times and yes our grocery bill is ridiculously high, but I wouldn't have it any other way!
Tuesday, August 26, 2014
From the Archives: Life
Here's something I wrote in April 2002...
In life, you build the roads you walk on
You construct your bridges to overcome your challenges
You fail, but only to become more learned for the next time
You win, but never give it a second thought
Cause another challenge is just ahead
You can take it in stride with your head up high
You can try to ignore it only to be destined to fail
For you may never win unless you first fall
Cause every failure is a lesson to be learned
And only the smart ones will survive in this world
For life is nothing more than failure and success
And success never comes without a price
No regrets and never look back
Never second-guess yourself
You may lose this time
But there’s always a next
So build your bridge with what you have learned
And know that it was built by your own hands
For the greatest feeling of lifelong success
Is achieved when you pass life’s little test
In life, you build the roads you walk on
You construct your bridges to overcome your challenges
You fail, but only to become more learned for the next time
You win, but never give it a second thought
Cause another challenge is just ahead
You can take it in stride with your head up high
You can try to ignore it only to be destined to fail
For you may never win unless you first fall
Cause every failure is a lesson to be learned
And only the smart ones will survive in this world
For life is nothing more than failure and success
And success never comes without a price
No regrets and never look back
Never second-guess yourself
You may lose this time
But there’s always a next
So build your bridge with what you have learned
And know that it was built by your own hands
For the greatest feeling of lifelong success
Is achieved when you pass life’s little test
Sunday, August 24, 2014
So Many Somedays
Before I begin, I spoke with my wife, Kristen, who said she doesn't mind that I use the kids name on the blog. They are (in age order): Christopher (17), Riannah (10), Nolan (8), Harper (5), Willow (2), and Isla (2 weeks) [you say it like this: eye-la].
Kristen and I love to dream about some day. We love to think about what we can do next year or the year after that, or even many years down the line. For instance, "someday we'll get a bigger house with our own yard" (we live in a townhouse). Or "someday we'll get a bigger van so that everyone has more room". There's always something we look forward to, and someday we'll be able to make those visions come true.
We don't always just dream about someday; we sometimes get to make those visions true. Last year we took a family trip to Anna Maria Island in Florida. It was a fun 3-day drive each way, we got to spend a couple days at Kristen's parents house, and Kristen even got to meet a good friend of hers face-to-face in St. Louis. That was one of our somedays.
Before we left for that Florida trip, we traded in our Ford Freestyle for a Chrysler Town & Country with the stow-and-go seating. That was one of our somedays (to move to a vehicle with more room).
We like to live our lives thinking about someday. It helps motivate us to do some of the things we do and always focuses us on some type of goal. Today, we had a family get-together to celebrate my father and stepmother's 25th Anniversary. As an awesome anniversary treat, they were able to hold our 2-week old Isla and my sister's 2 1/2 month old William (although he was born prematurely and thus isn't much bigger than Isla). I snapped a picture of the two babies being held by their grandparents and it was such a cute moment. But, it got me thinking, and Kristen and I think about this often, someday we'll be grandparents, but how many grandchildren will we have?
If our children are like us, we'll have 36 grandchildren. YIKES! If they're not, maybe we'll have 12. Regardless, we'll have an anniversary and at that anniversary, we'll get to take pictures with our cute little grandchildren on our laps or snuggled into our chests (depending on their age, of course). Kristen and I have been married coming up on 7 years so we'll be celebrating our 25th Anniversary when Isla is 18 and Christopher is 35. Thus, it's quite conceivable that we too could have a pair of newborn grandchildren to snuggle with and have cute pictures taken of.
Now, it's weird to think about having grandchildren someday when you're only 36 and you have a 2-week old nuzzled under your chin. But that's what Kristen and I do, and I can't wait for all the wonderful get-togethers we're going to have with our children and grandchildren. I can't wait to smother them with hugs, kisses, and pixie sticks! I can't wait to get the Grandparents Plus Grandchildren pass to the Minnesota Zoo and bring all of them around like a herd of monkeys running around and screaming after lunching on pretzels, cookies, and Mt. Dew. I can't wait to turn them into crazy, screaming children who seriously need a nap and hand them over to their parents with a smile of revenge on our faces!
But, most of all, I can't wait until that someday leads to visions of another someday. Because life is an interesting roller coaster that Kristen and I have ridden many times.
Kristen and I love to dream about some day. We love to think about what we can do next year or the year after that, or even many years down the line. For instance, "someday we'll get a bigger house with our own yard" (we live in a townhouse). Or "someday we'll get a bigger van so that everyone has more room". There's always something we look forward to, and someday we'll be able to make those visions come true.
We don't always just dream about someday; we sometimes get to make those visions true. Last year we took a family trip to Anna Maria Island in Florida. It was a fun 3-day drive each way, we got to spend a couple days at Kristen's parents house, and Kristen even got to meet a good friend of hers face-to-face in St. Louis. That was one of our somedays.
Before we left for that Florida trip, we traded in our Ford Freestyle for a Chrysler Town & Country with the stow-and-go seating. That was one of our somedays (to move to a vehicle with more room).
We like to live our lives thinking about someday. It helps motivate us to do some of the things we do and always focuses us on some type of goal. Today, we had a family get-together to celebrate my father and stepmother's 25th Anniversary. As an awesome anniversary treat, they were able to hold our 2-week old Isla and my sister's 2 1/2 month old William (although he was born prematurely and thus isn't much bigger than Isla). I snapped a picture of the two babies being held by their grandparents and it was such a cute moment. But, it got me thinking, and Kristen and I think about this often, someday we'll be grandparents, but how many grandchildren will we have?
If our children are like us, we'll have 36 grandchildren. YIKES! If they're not, maybe we'll have 12. Regardless, we'll have an anniversary and at that anniversary, we'll get to take pictures with our cute little grandchildren on our laps or snuggled into our chests (depending on their age, of course). Kristen and I have been married coming up on 7 years so we'll be celebrating our 25th Anniversary when Isla is 18 and Christopher is 35. Thus, it's quite conceivable that we too could have a pair of newborn grandchildren to snuggle with and have cute pictures taken of.
Now, it's weird to think about having grandchildren someday when you're only 36 and you have a 2-week old nuzzled under your chin. But that's what Kristen and I do, and I can't wait for all the wonderful get-togethers we're going to have with our children and grandchildren. I can't wait to smother them with hugs, kisses, and pixie sticks! I can't wait to get the Grandparents Plus Grandchildren pass to the Minnesota Zoo and bring all of them around like a herd of monkeys running around and screaming after lunching on pretzels, cookies, and Mt. Dew. I can't wait to turn them into crazy, screaming children who seriously need a nap and hand them over to their parents with a smile of revenge on our faces!
But, most of all, I can't wait until that someday leads to visions of another someday. Because life is an interesting roller coaster that Kristen and I have ridden many times.
Friday, August 22, 2014
Always End the Day on a High Note
My wife and I have found that creating a regular nighttime schedule for our kids is the key to a happy bed time process. Around 7:00 PM is jammy time, followed by relaxing in the living room. If the day has been filled with too much driving time, then relax time is instead substituted with "get the sillies out" time. At 8:00 we head upstairs for story time. During story time, I either read a book or we sit around and tell a story whereas each of us gives one line of the story at a time and we take turns. The kids seem to love our story time and the stories we tell tend to get a bit silly. These definitely aren't the types of stories you'd see in a children's book as they are way too disconnected. But who cares, they're fun to tell and the kids enjoy it.
We do this everyday. We start in R & H's room, do story time, say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then take N & W to their room. We read a good toddler book and say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then head downstairs. Now, of course, I keeps my wife (and sometimes me) busy with feeding and general newborn shenanigans.
The thing is, this is what we do every night to end every day on a high note. No matter what the kids did that day, no matter how many times they got in trouble, no matter how many stupid things they did, and no matter how much time they were forced to spend in their bedroom, we always finish our day the same way. Of course, sometimes we're up really late due to whatever activity is going on and story time is cut short; but for the most part it's always the same (although the stories vary quite a bit).
This is our little way of reminding our children of how important they are to us, how much we love each and every one of them, and that no matter what they do, we still love them as much as we did when they woke up that morning. In a way, I think this helps us get through all the shenanigans because our children know that we are there to tuck them in at night, no matter what.
I have no proof of this, but I think this regular nightly routine also helps to breed a happy household. With five kids in the house, it's conceivable that one could feel left out on any given day. But no matter how much attention each one gets that day, they all get the same attention at night as we sit in a circle and tell a story about sharks, poop, eating people, turning into animals, and getting run over by cars.
Yep, those are some memorable stories!
We do this everyday. We start in R & H's room, do story time, say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then take N & W to their room. We read a good toddler book and say goodnight, give hugs and kisses, say "I love you", then head downstairs. Now, of course, I keeps my wife (and sometimes me) busy with feeding and general newborn shenanigans.
The thing is, this is what we do every night to end every day on a high note. No matter what the kids did that day, no matter how many times they got in trouble, no matter how many stupid things they did, and no matter how much time they were forced to spend in their bedroom, we always finish our day the same way. Of course, sometimes we're up really late due to whatever activity is going on and story time is cut short; but for the most part it's always the same (although the stories vary quite a bit).
This is our little way of reminding our children of how important they are to us, how much we love each and every one of them, and that no matter what they do, we still love them as much as we did when they woke up that morning. In a way, I think this helps us get through all the shenanigans because our children know that we are there to tuck them in at night, no matter what.
I have no proof of this, but I think this regular nightly routine also helps to breed a happy household. With five kids in the house, it's conceivable that one could feel left out on any given day. But no matter how much attention each one gets that day, they all get the same attention at night as we sit in a circle and tell a story about sharks, poop, eating people, turning into animals, and getting run over by cars.
Yep, those are some memorable stories!
Thursday, August 21, 2014
I Wish I Could Lactate
Having a new baby can make certain, everyday things a bit tricky. Today was a perfect example of this. My wife went to the store with R and N and I happily stayed home with H, W, and our newborn I. H was wonderfully entertained by relaxing on the couch after we had worn her out at the pool. W decided to take a nap and I fell asleep. By the time my wife got home it was time to start making dinner. Not a big deal; we both help out while I was sleeping soundly.
About 2 minutes after the kids are served, I wakes up from her nap and is definitely hungry. I don't like forcing my wife to miss sitting down with the kids all the day and she doesn't want to do the same to me, so when something like this occurs, one of us scoops her up and keeps her happy until the other is available.
Well, my wife breastfeeds so you can see my slight dilemma when I is hungry and my wife has just sat down to eat while I bounce our baby around, keeping her preoccupied. Situations like this would be so much easier if we men could also lactate during our baby's first year. Then, while my wife is eating dinner, I can sit down with I and feed her, making her one happy girl!
Of course, the thought of it is weird and I can see many of us men being quite immature about the whole situation and turning to milk fights or something like that. Also, would that mean we'd grow large breasts? Hmm, just typing it makes me picture weird things in my head.
Yes, I know, my wife could pump and I could bottle feed, but that really defeats the purpose of breastfeeding and adds that extra cost and hassle of pumping and using bottles. Also, it's not that I have this urge to bond with our new baby in a different way, because her and I do plenty of bonding as she's a very snuggly baby (yeah I said snuggly!).
I'm just picturing how different life would be for new couples if the men could also lactate. Now, maybe it's not for a full year, but just for the first few weeks to give our wives a bit of a helping hand. Then, when we're done feeding, we could fill a Super Soaker with milk and run around with the guys having milk fights.
Ah yes, the beauty of acting immature even as an adult.
About 2 minutes after the kids are served, I wakes up from her nap and is definitely hungry. I don't like forcing my wife to miss sitting down with the kids all the day and she doesn't want to do the same to me, so when something like this occurs, one of us scoops her up and keeps her happy until the other is available.
Well, my wife breastfeeds so you can see my slight dilemma when I is hungry and my wife has just sat down to eat while I bounce our baby around, keeping her preoccupied. Situations like this would be so much easier if we men could also lactate during our baby's first year. Then, while my wife is eating dinner, I can sit down with I and feed her, making her one happy girl!
Of course, the thought of it is weird and I can see many of us men being quite immature about the whole situation and turning to milk fights or something like that. Also, would that mean we'd grow large breasts? Hmm, just typing it makes me picture weird things in my head.
Yes, I know, my wife could pump and I could bottle feed, but that really defeats the purpose of breastfeeding and adds that extra cost and hassle of pumping and using bottles. Also, it's not that I have this urge to bond with our new baby in a different way, because her and I do plenty of bonding as she's a very snuggly baby (yeah I said snuggly!).
I'm just picturing how different life would be for new couples if the men could also lactate. Now, maybe it's not for a full year, but just for the first few weeks to give our wives a bit of a helping hand. Then, when we're done feeding, we could fill a Super Soaker with milk and run around with the guys having milk fights.
Ah yes, the beauty of acting immature even as an adult.
Wednesday, August 20, 2014
Role Reversals
I mentioned the other day that my wife and I have five children at home. They are currently 10, 8, 5, 2, and almost 2 weeks old. When our newborn came home from the hospital, our 5-year old was moved from the center row of our minivan to the back row, in-between our 10- and 8-year olds. Thankfully, the older two are out of car seats and our 5-year old's car seat is quite narrow considering it's a car seat.
Our 5- and 8-year old often clash while at home. Forcing them to sit next to each other... well you can imagine how well it's been going over during these first two weeks. My Dad used to use the saying "That went over like a fart in church." and that probably isn't far from the truth. Not that I really understand what his saying ultimately means. It must be a generational thing. Our 5-year old tends to be the target for our 8-year old's annoyance and we often find ourselves yelling at him to leave his younger sister alone.
The other day, I had to explain to both of our children that they are now sitting next to each other like the way they are until the day we can get a larger minivan. Our 8-year old seemed to take the statement in stride and our 5-year old gave me her patented "I don't want to get in trouble" treatment. Of course, that statement wasn't meant to state that either of them was in trouble, just to happily remind them that they need to be nicer as they're pretty much stuck in that state of minivan placement.
We decided to head to our regular Tuesday dinner outing, and things went quite well during the drive to dinner. The kids were jovial with each other and when one was begging to pester, the other turned their head and gave the silent treatment. Looks like a win right? That's what I thought, until we went home.
After dinner on Tuesdays, we hit the nearby park to let the kids unwind and get some of their pent-up energy out. This usually works pretty well and we often find the ride home quieter than the ride to dinner when tiredness begins to set in (although that doesn't always happen). Instead of repeating what was a relatively pleasant drive out, our 5-year old decided to reverse roles with our 8- and 10-year olds and become the ultimate little sister pest.
Wow... that definitely went over like a fart in church. Our older two were nothing short of angry as their little sister continually pestered them with any means she found possible. And no matter how many times they complained about it or tried to stop her, she refused to relent. My wife and I even had to attempt to step in, which is quite difficult when you're driving down the highway in a minivan.
I was angry; I'll admit it. I was angry that our daughter would do that even after the talk we had earlier that day and the fact that I don't think she's ever gone to those lengths of pestering before. However, no matter how angry I got, I was also laughing inside. Something deep down wanted to burst out and yell out "You can dish it out, but you can't take it?!"
Yeah... that would have been childish. But I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that the roles had completely reversed and now the older two were essentially getting a taste of their own medicine. This doesn't give my daughter an excuse to act that way, but it sure made for an interesting drive home.
As you may have noticed, I'm not using my family's name in this blog. This is done purposefully. However, because typing x-year old is so awkward, I may use abbreviations in the future: R, N, H, W, and I from oldest to youngest. K is my wife. That seems much less awkward and easier to read!
Our 5- and 8-year old often clash while at home. Forcing them to sit next to each other... well you can imagine how well it's been going over during these first two weeks. My Dad used to use the saying "That went over like a fart in church." and that probably isn't far from the truth. Not that I really understand what his saying ultimately means. It must be a generational thing. Our 5-year old tends to be the target for our 8-year old's annoyance and we often find ourselves yelling at him to leave his younger sister alone.
The other day, I had to explain to both of our children that they are now sitting next to each other like the way they are until the day we can get a larger minivan. Our 8-year old seemed to take the statement in stride and our 5-year old gave me her patented "I don't want to get in trouble" treatment. Of course, that statement wasn't meant to state that either of them was in trouble, just to happily remind them that they need to be nicer as they're pretty much stuck in that state of minivan placement.
We decided to head to our regular Tuesday dinner outing, and things went quite well during the drive to dinner. The kids were jovial with each other and when one was begging to pester, the other turned their head and gave the silent treatment. Looks like a win right? That's what I thought, until we went home.
After dinner on Tuesdays, we hit the nearby park to let the kids unwind and get some of their pent-up energy out. This usually works pretty well and we often find the ride home quieter than the ride to dinner when tiredness begins to set in (although that doesn't always happen). Instead of repeating what was a relatively pleasant drive out, our 5-year old decided to reverse roles with our 8- and 10-year olds and become the ultimate little sister pest.
Wow... that definitely went over like a fart in church. Our older two were nothing short of angry as their little sister continually pestered them with any means she found possible. And no matter how many times they complained about it or tried to stop her, she refused to relent. My wife and I even had to attempt to step in, which is quite difficult when you're driving down the highway in a minivan.
I was angry; I'll admit it. I was angry that our daughter would do that even after the talk we had earlier that day and the fact that I don't think she's ever gone to those lengths of pestering before. However, no matter how angry I got, I was also laughing inside. Something deep down wanted to burst out and yell out "You can dish it out, but you can't take it?!"
Yeah... that would have been childish. But I couldn't help thinking how funny it was that the roles had completely reversed and now the older two were essentially getting a taste of their own medicine. This doesn't give my daughter an excuse to act that way, but it sure made for an interesting drive home.
As you may have noticed, I'm not using my family's name in this blog. This is done purposefully. However, because typing x-year old is so awkward, I may use abbreviations in the future: R, N, H, W, and I from oldest to youngest. K is my wife. That seems much less awkward and easier to read!
Monday, August 18, 2014
Neighbors are Jerks
Okay, so that's a fairly broad generalization. Let's face it, not all neighbors are jerks. Plus, when I say neighbors I mean those that live in your grand neighborhood; not the concept that only those immediately around you are your neighbors.
Let me take a minutes to introduce myself. My name is Aaron T. Huss. I'm a father of six (to be explained later), a devoted husband, a career engineer, a geek, a tabletop gamer, and an independent publisher and writer. I love to write and I always seem to have something on my mind and wanted a place to let it out. Thus, I started a blog like many others out there. Why? To share my thoughts and start conversations. Not to troll for responses; I prefer actual conversations and debates, not internet screaming. (You know, with capital letters.)
Yes, I am a father of six. My wife and I have five at home and I have one from a previous marriage that lives with his mother and is starting his senior year this year. I'm only 36... so do the math. Our newest bundle of joy, girl #4, was born on August 8 (as in, 10 days ago August 8) and I am currently on paternity leave working half days for a couple weeks. This leads me to my first blog post.
Why are neighbors jerks? Honestly; beats the hell out of me. I think a better question is why are there so many jerk offs in the United States? But then, what makes someone a jerk? Well, that's in the eyes of the beholder, but I'm more than willing to generalize my thoughts.
First, when someone knowingly and willingly breaks the rules, gets caught, and then argues and yells that they're in the right and the person enforcing the rules is in the wrong is a jerk; at least in my mind. These type of people think they're so special or privileged or something that they're almost above-the-law and don't have to follow the same rules that everyone else does. Then, if you call them out in the rule breaking, you look like the bad guy because they obviously have the right to do something wrong. My kids do that too, but that's because they're kids and not grown adults. Grown adults know better... at least you think they'd know better.
Second, someone that throws insults at someone else just because they "don't get it" makes them a jerk. When you live a life full of ridiculous shit like some of us have, you can go ahead and joke about things. However, when you don't understand why we do the things we do, don't think that you can insult us for them; that makes you a jerk. Again, children do that because they don't always understand right from wrong. Adults should know better.
Third, someone that makes snide remarks to make themselves feel better; that's what a jerk does. It's one thing to make comments to your significant other while in the privacy of your own regarding someone you saw earlier that day; it's something completely different to yell out these remarks indirectly to most likely make you feel better. I'm not going to get into the reasons why someone would do this, because that's a pretty long list.
Fourth is entitlement; which kind of sounds like the first one, but goes a little further. For instance, why is it that the jerk driving the BMW thinks it's necessary to put himself and the drivers around him in danger by weaving in and out of traffic while talking on the phone? It's almost as if he feels entitled just because of the car he's driving. I had a guy once that wanted to get in line in front of me at Subway while I was nearing the end of ordering simply because he had no patience and couldn't teach his son any patience either. He felt entitled to going in front simply because his order was smaller. Last time I checked, fast food restaurants were first in, first out. You wait in line just like everyone else. However, I will say that it's one thing to ask to move ahead in line when someone else is waiting in that same line and it's completely different when the person is already over halfway through ordering. "Um, hey jerk, why don't you wait like everyone else has to? Besides, I'm almost finished and you should teach your son the quality of patience."
So, go ahead, tell me about your jerk encounters...
Let me take a minutes to introduce myself. My name is Aaron T. Huss. I'm a father of six (to be explained later), a devoted husband, a career engineer, a geek, a tabletop gamer, and an independent publisher and writer. I love to write and I always seem to have something on my mind and wanted a place to let it out. Thus, I started a blog like many others out there. Why? To share my thoughts and start conversations. Not to troll for responses; I prefer actual conversations and debates, not internet screaming. (You know, with capital letters.)
Yes, I am a father of six. My wife and I have five at home and I have one from a previous marriage that lives with his mother and is starting his senior year this year. I'm only 36... so do the math. Our newest bundle of joy, girl #4, was born on August 8 (as in, 10 days ago August 8) and I am currently on paternity leave working half days for a couple weeks. This leads me to my first blog post.
Why are neighbors jerks? Honestly; beats the hell out of me. I think a better question is why are there so many jerk offs in the United States? But then, what makes someone a jerk? Well, that's in the eyes of the beholder, but I'm more than willing to generalize my thoughts.
First, when someone knowingly and willingly breaks the rules, gets caught, and then argues and yells that they're in the right and the person enforcing the rules is in the wrong is a jerk; at least in my mind. These type of people think they're so special or privileged or something that they're almost above-the-law and don't have to follow the same rules that everyone else does. Then, if you call them out in the rule breaking, you look like the bad guy because they obviously have the right to do something wrong. My kids do that too, but that's because they're kids and not grown adults. Grown adults know better... at least you think they'd know better.
Second, someone that throws insults at someone else just because they "don't get it" makes them a jerk. When you live a life full of ridiculous shit like some of us have, you can go ahead and joke about things. However, when you don't understand why we do the things we do, don't think that you can insult us for them; that makes you a jerk. Again, children do that because they don't always understand right from wrong. Adults should know better.
Third, someone that makes snide remarks to make themselves feel better; that's what a jerk does. It's one thing to make comments to your significant other while in the privacy of your own regarding someone you saw earlier that day; it's something completely different to yell out these remarks indirectly to most likely make you feel better. I'm not going to get into the reasons why someone would do this, because that's a pretty long list.
Fourth is entitlement; which kind of sounds like the first one, but goes a little further. For instance, why is it that the jerk driving the BMW thinks it's necessary to put himself and the drivers around him in danger by weaving in and out of traffic while talking on the phone? It's almost as if he feels entitled just because of the car he's driving. I had a guy once that wanted to get in line in front of me at Subway while I was nearing the end of ordering simply because he had no patience and couldn't teach his son any patience either. He felt entitled to going in front simply because his order was smaller. Last time I checked, fast food restaurants were first in, first out. You wait in line just like everyone else. However, I will say that it's one thing to ask to move ahead in line when someone else is waiting in that same line and it's completely different when the person is already over halfway through ordering. "Um, hey jerk, why don't you wait like everyone else has to? Besides, I'm almost finished and you should teach your son the quality of patience."
So, go ahead, tell me about your jerk encounters...
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